Commander Jansen whistled under his breath.
“Well, you got it, Princess.” He smirked when I dropped Tawny’s hands and turned to him. He walked to the door and then stopped. “And I have more input for you. Pack lightly. And don’t bother taking that damn veil. You won’t be wearing it.”
Eyes closed and chin lifted to the rising sun, I reveled in the feel of the cool morning air kissing my bare cheeks and brow as I stood beside the black walls of the Rise. It was such a small thing, but it had been years since the sun and wind had touched every part of my face. My skin prickled pleasantly, and even the reason I was able to do this didn’t tarnish the moment.
The veil made me a very obvious moving target as we traveled to Carsodonia. The best way for us to avoid Descenters and the Dark One was to ensure that no one we came into contact with realized who I was, which was why our group was gathering near the Rise, and I wore a plain dark brown cloak with a heavy sweater underneath it, and my lone pair of breeches and boots. I had no idea what people would think when they saw me, but they definitely wouldn’t think of the Maiden.
It was also why I’d said my goodbyes to Tawny in my room. The few castle staff that would be moving about may recognize Tawny as my companion, and Hawke was taking no chances by ignoring the possibility that Descenters could still be among those who worked in the castle.
And that made it even harder to say goodbye to Tawny. Anything could happen between now and when she joined me in the capital, and I’d have no idea until someone decided to tell me. That caused my stomach to twist with helplessness because there was nothing I could do about any of that. I could only hope that I would see her again. I could believe that I would.
But I wouldn’t pray.
The gods had never answered my prayers before.
And it no longer felt right to ask them for anything when I…I could no longer deny what Vikter had claimed.
That I wanted to be found unworthy.
I sighed, concentrating on the sensation of the wind lifting the wisps of hair from around my forehead and temple.
The Duchess hadn’t come to say goodbye.
It didn’t surprise me. And it didn’t hurt like it had before. There wasn’t even disappointment, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad one.
“You look like you’re enjoying yourself.”
Opening my eyes at the sound of Hawke’s voice, I turned around and almost wished I’d kept my eyes closed.
Hawke wasn’t dressed like a guard as he stood next to a massive black horse. His dark brown breeches hugged his long legs, showcasing the strength of his body. His tunic was heavy and long-sleeved, suited for cold weather, as was the fur-lined cloak. In the sunlight, his hair was the color of a raven’s wings.
Somehow, he looked even more striking dressed as a commoner.
And he was staring at me, one eyebrow raised while I was…well, I was just gawking at him. My cheeks heated. “It feels nice.”
“For the air to touch your face?” he asked, figuring out what I was talking about.
I nodded.
“I can only imagine that it does.” His gaze flickered across my face. “I much prefer this version.”
Biting down on my lip, I reached out and lightly rubbed the side of the horse’s nose. “He’s beautiful. Does he have a name?”
“Been told it’s Setti.”
I smiled at that. “Named after Theon’s warhorse?” Setti nudged my hand for more pets. “He has big hooves to fill.”
“That he does,” Hawke replied. “I’m assuming you can’t ride a horse.”
I shook my head no. “I haven’t been on one since…” My smile widened. “Gods, it was three years ago. Tawny and I snuck out to the stables and managed to climb on one before Vikter arrived.” My smile faded as I dropped my hand and stepped back. “So, no, I can’t ride.”
“That will be intriguing.” He paused. “And torturous since you’ll be riding with me.”
My heart skipped over itself as I looked over at him. “And why is that intriguing? And torturous?”
One side of his lips curved up. The dimple appeared. “Besides the fact that it will allow me to keep a very close eye on you? Use your imagination, Princess.”
My imagination didn’t fail me then. “That’s inappropriate,” I told him.
“Is it?” He dipped his chin. “You’re not the Maiden out here. You’re Poppy, unveiled and unburdened.”
My gaze met his, and the surge of anticipation and relief proved that under the pain and anger, other emotions simmered. “And what of when I arrive at the capital? I will become the Maiden once more.”