I said nothing as he left the room, opening the door only wide enough for him to slip through. When the door clicked into place behind him, I let go of the breath I had been holding and looked down at the front of my gown. The area of my breast was still damp, the white material nearly transparent. My cheeks flushed hotly as I scooted off the bed and stood on surprisingly weak knees.
My gaze lifted to the door, and I closed my eyes, unsure if I was disappointed or relieved by the interruption. Truthfully, it was a mixture of both, because I’d lied to Hawke.
I wouldn’t be here when he returned.
“What did you do last night?”
The question snapped my attention from the biscuit I was currently devouring to the Lady in Wait who sat across from me.
Tawny Lyon was the second daughter of a successful merchant, given to the Royal Court at the age of thirteen during the Rite. Tall and lithe, with rich brown skin and beautiful brown eyes, she was absolutely enviable. Some of the Ladies and Lords in Wait were assigned tasks outside of preparation to join the Court after Ascension, and since we were the same age, she had been assigned as my companion shortly after her Rite. Her duty ranged from keeping me company to assisting me with my bath or to dress if I required it.
Tawny was one of the few people who could make me laugh over the silliest things. Actually, she was one of the few people who were even allowed to speak to me. She was the closest thing I had to a friend, and I cared for her deeply.
I believed she cared for me too, or at the very least, liked me, but she was required to be with me unless I dismissed her for the day. If she hadn’t been given the task of being my companion, we never would’ve spoken. That fact was not a reflection upon her as a person, but because she would be like all the rest, either forbidden to socialize with me or wary of my presence.
The knowledge often sat heavy in my chest, another chunk of ice, but even though I knew our friendship was rooted in duty, I trusted her.
At least, to a certain degree.
She knew I was trained, but she didn’t know the things I sometimes assisted Vikter with, and she had no knowledge of my gifts. I kept those things to myself because sharing that information would either put others or her in harm’s way.
“I was here.” Wiping buttery crumbs from my fingers, I gestured to the rather sparse chamber. We were in the small anteroom that opened up to the bedroom. There were only two chairs by the fireplace, a wardrobe and a chest, a bed, one nightstand, and a heavy fur rug under our feet. Others had more…creature comforts. Tawny had a beautiful chaise in her room and a pile of plush floor coverings, and I knew some of the other Ladies and Lords in Wait had vanities or desks, walls lined with bookshelves, and even electricity.
Over the years, those items had been stripped from my chamber for one infraction or another.
“You were not in your room,” Tawny said. A simple topknot was trying—and failing—to keep the mass of brown and gold curls swept back from her face. More than a few had snuck free to rest against her cheeks. “I checked on you shortly after midnight, and you weren’t here.”
My heart skipped a beat. Had something occurred where the Duke or Duchess had sent Tawny for me? If so, Tawny wouldn’t be able to lie, but I imagined if that had happened, I would already know.
I would have already been summoned to the Duke’s private office.
“Why were you checking on me?” I asked.
“I thought I heard your door opening and closing, so I decided to investigate, but no one was here.” She paused. “No one. Including you.”
There was no way she’d heard me return. I’d used the old servants’ access, and while that door was as creaky as a bag of bones, her room was on the other side of where my bed sat. That door was one of the reasons I’d never asked to be moved to the newer, renovated parts of the stronghold. Through there, I could access nearly any part of the castle and could come and go without being seen.
It more than compensated for the lack of electricity and the constant, chilly draft that seemed to always make its way in around the windows no matter how sunny the day was.
My palms dampened as I glanced at the closed hallway door. Had someone been looking for me? Again, I would know by now, so it was likely Tawny thought she’d heard something.
Knowing Tawny as I did, I knew she wouldn’t let this go if I didn’t give her something. “I couldn’t sleep last night.”
“Nightmares?”
I nodded, feeling a little guilty for the sympathy that crept into her eyes.
“You’ve been having a lot of them lately.” She leaned back in the chair. “Are you sure you don’t want to try one of the sleeping drafts the Healer made for you?”