But that wasn’t the only part of this that preyed upon my mind.
The look that had settled over Hawke’s face as he watched the broken couple also kept resurfacing. Anger had hardened his jaw and pressed his lips into a firm, unyielding line. And he wasn’t the only one in attendance who’d borne what could easily be construed as the mark of resentment. I thought of the blond man I’d seen and what I’d felt from him. It had to be some form of pain, as that was the only thing I could feel from others. But it had reminded me of the anger that had settled into Hawke’s features and in others.
Men and women of different classes who didn’t look upon the Tulises with distaste, but had instead stared at the dais, unable to hide their displeasure and bitterness. Had some of them handed over third sons and daughters to the Priests, or would they soon be watching their second sons and daughters go to Court after their Rite.
Had the Duke and Duchess noticed those stares? I doubted they did, but I was sure the Royal Guards had.
As Vikter had said, this was a time of unrest, and it was spreading. I didn’t think all could be blamed on the Descenters. Some of the fault could be laid at the feet of the natural order of things—to the Rite, which was beginning to feel unnatural when extenuating circumstances such as the Tulises’ plight were ignored.
Could it be changed? The way things were done? That was another thing that had kept me awake. Surely, the gods had enough sons and daughters to serve them. They had the entire kingdom, and maybe it could become a case-by-case basis when it came to those who served the gods at the time of their Rite. Many parents were honored to have their children do so, and for some, a lifetime in servitude to the gods was a far better life than the one they would’ve had if they remained at home. Could I change the order of things once I returned to the capital, before I Ascended? Did I have that kind of power? Surely I had more than the Ladies and Lords in Wait, as I was the Maiden. I could speak to the Queen on behalf of the Tulises, and if I ended up returning from the gods as one of the Ascended, I could continue petitioning for change.
I could at least try, which was more than the Duke and Duchess were willing to do. That was what I’d decided before I’d finally drifted off to sleep, only to wake a few hours later to meet with Vikter.
“You sound like you need a nap,” Tawny commented as she secured the final chain of the veil.
“If only I could do just that.” I sighed.
“I have no idea how you can’t nap during the day.” She stepped to my side, tucking the ends of the veil so the length fell down the center of my back. “Give me any comfy chair and—”
“You’ll be out cold in minutes. It makes me so jealous.” I slipped my feet into white slippers with all-too-thin soles. “Once the sun comes up, I can’t sleep.”
“That’s because you can’t stand to be idle,” she responded. “And sleeping requires a certain amount of idleness, which is something I excel at.”
I laughed. “We all have to be good at something.”
She shot me a look just before a sharp rap sounded, and then Vikter’s voice rang out. Heading for the hall door, I groaned even though I had expected his arrival. I was due to meet with Priestess Analia for prayers, but in reality, the time was generally spent with the Priestess criticizing everything from my posture to the wrinkles in my gown.
“If you want to make a run for it, I’ll tell Vikter you jumped out the window,” Tawny offered.
I snorted. “That would only buy me a five-second lead time.”
“True.” Tawny reached the door before me, all but throwing it open. The moment I saw Vikter’s face, I tensed. Deep grooves of tension bracketed his mouth.
“What happened?” I asked.
“You’ve been summoned to meet with the Duke and Duchess,” he announced, and knots of dread formed.
Tawny sent me a quick, nervous glance. “What for?”
“I believe it has to do with who will replace Rylan,” he said, and instead of feeling relief like I knew Tawny did given how her shoulders loosened, my unease grew.
“Do you know who?” I followed him out into the hall.
He shook his head, sending a lock of sandy blond hair across his forehead. “I haven’t been told.”
That wasn’t exactly uncommon, but I would think that since Vikter would be working closely with whoever replaced Rylan, he’d be one of the first to know.
“What about Priestess Analia?” I asked, ignoring the raised brows that Tawny directed at me as she fell into step beside me. And, yes, I was surprised that I was asking since jumping out a window would almost be preferable to spending an afternoon listening to all the things that were wrong with me. But a bad, anxious feeling had taken root in my stomach.