For some reason, I had been so caught up in fear of being discovered that I’d forgotten what had happened when Rylan was brought in to work with Vikter.
“Commander Jansen, if you will, please step outside,” the Duke said, and my wide gaze shot to him. There was a smile on his face, one that was wholly pleased and not at all forced and brittle.
I didn’t even realize the Commander had left until the click of the door closing behind him jolted me.
“You are about to bear witness to what only a select few have seen, an unveiled Maiden,” Teerman announced to Hawke, but his gaze was centered on me, to where my hands trembled in my lap. A real smile appeared on his face, turning my stomach. “Penellaphe, please, reveal yourself.”
Chapter 11
There had been a handful of times in my life where reality felt more like a dream.
The night I’d heard my mother’s screams and my father’s shouts to run was one of them. Everything had felt hazy, as if I was there but somehow disconnected from my body. My parents being slaughtered was far more serious and traumatizing than what was happening right now. Still, I was on the brink of possibly being discovered. And if Hawke told the Duke where I’d been…
My mouth dried as a fist clenched deep in my chest.
Perhaps there was some truth to what Vikter had said about me wanting to be found unworthy. But even if that were true, I would want to be as far away from the Duke as possible if and when that occurred.
Hawke hadn’t seen my full face the night at the Red Pearl, but he’d seen enough that it could trigger recognition. At some point, he was bound to figure it out. Probably after he heard me speak. However, I hadn’t considered that moment occurring here in front of the Duke and Duchess.
“Penellaphe.” The Duke’s tone carried a thread of warning. I was taking too long. “We do not have all day.”
“Give her a moment, Dorian.” The Duchess turned to her husband. “You know why she hesitates. We have time.”
I was not hesitating for the reason they believed—why the Duke smiled with such relish. Of course, I was uncomfortable baring my face, my scars in front of Hawke. Truthfully, though, that was the least of my concerns at the moment, but the Duke was probably internally screaming with twisted joy.
The man absolutely loathed me.
Dorian Teerman pretended that he didn’t, that he thought I was this miracle-born, a Chosen, just like his wife believed. But I knew better. The time spent in his other office proved exactly how he felt about me.
I wasn’t sure what it was about me that he hated, but there had to be something. As far as I knew, he was at least somewhat decent toward the Ladies and Lords in Wait. But me? He loved nothing more than discovering something that made me uncomfortable, only to then exploit it. And if I really wanted to make his day, I’d give him something to be disappointed in, a reason to continue his lessons.
Face burning as if on fire—from anger and frustration more than embarrassment—I reached for the clasps along the chains at the same moment Tawny rose, nearly tearing them apart as I unhooked them. The veil loosened, and before it could fall, Tawny caught the sides and helped ease the headdress off.
Cool air kissed my cheeks and the nape of my neck. I stared straight at the Duke. I wasn’t sure what he saw in my face, but his smile faded, and his eyes turned to shards of obsidian. His jaw clenched, and I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t stop myself…
I smiled.
It was just a hint of a grin, one that probably wasn’t noticeable to anyone but the Duke, but he saw it. I knew he did.
I was sure I’d pay for it later, but at that moment, I didn’t care.
Someone shifted to my right, ending my epic stare-off with the Duke, and reminding me that we weren’t the only two in the room. He wasn’t the only one looking at me.
The right side of my face was visible to Hawke, the side that the Duke often said was beautiful. The side I imagined matched my mother’s.
Drawing in a shallow breath, I turned my head until I completely faced Hawke. No side profiles. No hiding or mask that covered the two scars. My hair was secured in a braid and then wrapped in a knot, so it too provided no curtain. He saw everything that had been bared at the Red Pearl and then some. He saw the scars. I braced myself. Just like the Duke knew I would, because deep down, whether Teerman knew why or not, Hawke’s reaction would affect me.
It would hurt more than it should.
But I’d be damned if I let it show.
Lifting my chin, I waited for the look of shock or revulsion, or even worse, pity. I expected nothing less. Beauty was highly coveted and worshipped, flawlessness even more.