“I like it better than what I’m supposed to call you. Maiden. You have a name. It’s not that.”
“I didn’t ask for what you liked,” I said, even though I whole-heartedly agreed with his dislike of how I was supposed to be addressed.
“But you did ask why I didn’t tell the Duke about your little explorations,” he countered. “Why would I do that? I’m your guard. If I were to betray you, then you wouldn’t trust me, and that would definitely make my job of keeping you safe much harder.”
His very logical reasoning for not saying anything carried a bitter bite of disappointment, and I didn’t even want to delve into why. “As you can see, I can keep myself safe.”
“I see that.” He drew back, brows furrowed, and then his eyes widened just a fraction as if he’d figured something out.
“Hawke!” a voice called out from the ground below, causing my heart to trip. “Everything okay up there?”
His gaze searched the darkness of my hood for a moment, and then he looked over his shoulder. “Everything is fine.”
“You need to let me go,” I whispered. “Someone is bound to come up here—”
“And catch you? Force you to reveal your identity?” Those amber eyes slid back to me. “Maybe that would be a good thing.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “You said you wouldn’t betray me—”
“I said I didn’t betray you, but that was before I knew you would do something like this.”
Ice drenched my skin.
“My job would be so much easier if I didn’t have to worry about you sneaking out to fight the Craven…or meet random men in places like the Red Pearl,” he continued. “And who knows what else you do when all believe you’re safely ensconced in your chambers.”
“I—”
“I imagine that once I brought it to the Duke’s and Duchess’s attention, your penchant for arming yourself with a bow and climbing to the Rise would be one less thing I had to worry about.”
My chest seized with panic, and I blurted out, “You have no idea what he’d do if you went to him. He’d—” I cut myself off.
“He’d what?”
Taking a slow, even breath, I lifted my chin. “It doesn’t matter. Do what you feel you need to do.”
Hawke stared down at me for so long it felt like a small eternity had passed and then he let go of me, stepping back. Cold air blew in between us. “You better hurry back to your chambers, Princess. We’ll have to finish this conversation later.”
Confusion held me in its grip for only a few moments, but then I snapped out of it. Easing away from the wall, I ran, and even though I didn’t look back, I knew he didn’t take his eyes off me.
Slipping through the old servants’ access, I wasn’t surprised when I found that Tawny was still in my chambers, even though it had taken me nearly an hour before the gates were lifted and I could sneak back in.
She gasped. “I thought you were never going to come back.”
I closed the creaky door behind me and faced her, slowly reaching up to pull the hood down.
Tawny drew up short. “Are you…are you okay?” Her gaze searched mine, and I saw a faint tremor radiate through her. “Was it bad? The attack?”
Opening my mouth, I had no idea where to start, recalling all that had happened. I leaned against the door. My confrontation with Hawke still had my heart pounding. My mind was a confusing mess, and my stomach churned with the knowledge that the Craven had reached the top of the Rise.
“Poppy?” she whispered.
I decided to start with the most important. “There were a lot of them. Dozens.”
Her chest moved as she took in a deep breath. “And?”
I wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know, but to be in the dark was far more dangerous than fear of the truth. “And several of them reached the top of the Rise.”
Tawny’s eyes flew open. “Oh, my gods.” She pressed a hand to her chest. “But the shields have lifted—”
“They were stopped, but a lot…a lot of guards died tonight.” I peeled myself away from the door as I unbuttoned my cloak with chilled fingers, letting it fall to the floor. I went to the fireplace and stood there for several minutes, allowing the warmth to beat back some of the coldness. “There were just so many of them that they basically swarmed the front line. If there’d been more…”
“They would’ve breached the wall?”