Shoving my arms beneath me, I scramble to sit up, spitting out snow. My eyes widen when I see my golden faceprint on the ground.
“You alright, Gildy?” Lu asks as the sound of her footsteps draws nearer.
“Fine!” I rush to say as I feverishly wipe the gold away, burying it beneath a clumsy pile of unmarred snow and soaking my gloves in the process.
When her steps crunch closer, I leap up and whirl around at her nearness and try to back up a step, but my ribbons get tangled between my legs, and I almost fall. Again.
Luckily, I just manage to snatch the ribbons out from under my feet before I totter over.
Lu stops in front of me, eyes glittering with mirth. “Interesting way to leave your rooms.”
“I was just practicing using my ribbons,” I reply as I begin to dust the snow off my clothes. “You know. Trusting my instincts.”
“…Right,” she replies in a tone that says she doesn’t believe me at all.
Around us, a gentle snowfall sends paper-thin flakes floating down from the scrawled clouds. The snow gathers on her shorn head, specks melting against the shapes of shaved daggers cut into her black hair, but she doesn’t seem to mind the cold.
I quickly pick up my coat and yank it on, pulling up the hood so that snow won’t gild against my face.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a spot on the ground beside me where I missed some gold snow. I take a jerky step to the side, pulling the skirt of my dress to block it. Lu’s brown eyes flick down before coming back up to my face.
My cheeks bloom with nervous heat, but I try to keep my face as impassive as possible. “What are you doing here?” I ask. “I’m surprised they allowed a Fourth army soldier inside the castle walls.”
“They didn’t.” She shrugs her shoulders while lazily resting a hand on the twisted hilt of her sword. I wait for her to go on, but she doesn’t. Not that Lu is exactly talkative, but she’s usually more forthcoming than this.
An awkward silence shoulders its way between us like an unwelcome visitor. Now that the ridiculous moment of me hanging off the balcony has passed and she’s no longer laughing at my expense, I can tell that the energy between us is different. There’s something in her expression, something unsaid in her dark eyes as she looks at me. And then, with a jolt, I realize what it is.
Disappointment.
I clear my throat. “If you weren’t allowed inside, then how did you get here?” I ask before looking around, but we’re the only ones here. The dog kennel is the closest thing to us, and it sits quiet and empty.
“I walked.”
My exhale comes out like a puff of smoke at her short response. “Lu…”
She tilts her head and looks me up and down. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it, Gildy.”
“Do what?” I ask with confusion.
“Come back to this,” she says with a wrinkled nose as she looks over at the looming castle with distaste. “Doesn’t seem like much of a trade-off.”
All at once, I realize that’s the reason for the stand-offish glare, the disappointment in her eyes. The longer she looks at me like this, the less I can stand it. She doesn’t break the silence, doesn’t back down. The expression on her face is like she wants something from me. An apology? I don’t know.
“Look, I can see that you’re mad at me.”
“I’m not mad,” she replies dismissively. “I just didn’t expect you to rush back under Midas’s thumb. I thought you were better than that.”
I try not to flinch at her scathing tone. Attempt to dispel the hurt that inhales through my teeth and wriggles down my throat.
I like Lu—enormously. I lost a lot more than just my freedom when I chose to come back to Midas. I just didn’t realize until right now that one of those things was her respect. Or how much it would bother me.
The tense silence stretches for too long, making me fidget beneath the judgment I see shining in her eyes. I don’t know what to say. I have no idea if she knows that Rip is actually her king, or even if that would make a difference.
I want to ask about him, to ask if she knows we talked in the cage room, but I tamp down the desire immediately. I obviously severed any possibility of friendship with her as soon as I returned to Midas.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her that I’m not putting myself beneath Midas’s rule again, that I’m going to figure out a way to leave, but I hold back. I’m not sure if that confession would even help, or if it would just endanger my plan.