The fact is, Lu and I aren’t friends. She’s loyal to Rip, not me.
I shift on my feet, unable to stand here under her scrutiny for another second. “I should go. Especially since you’re not allowed inside the walls. I don’t want you to get in trouble if you’re seen with me.”
Lu scoffs. “Ranhold’s security is abysmal. I could break through the walls with my eyes closed and steal King Midas’s crown right off his head if I wanted to.”
My eyes widen. “Please don’t do that.”
“Don’t worry your gilded head about it. I have things to do, but not that. At least, not unless I get bored.”
“Lu.”
Rolling her eyes, she begins to walk away. “Don’t worry about me. Go ahead and do whatever you snuck out to do.”
My shoulders stiffen. “I didn’t say I was sneaking out,” I call at her back.
Turning, she continues to walk backwards as she taps the side of her nose and then points at me. “A sneak can always spot another sneak, Gildy.”
Before I can come up with a response, she disappears around the side of the castle, leaving me alone.
With a sigh, I look up at where my balcony is high above me and shake my head. I’m lucky I didn’t break my damn neck. Good thing there was a pile of plush snow to catch me. As it is, my back is aching and my face hurts from my graceful landing. All because Midas is a controlling, manipulative prick. And now, Lu hates me.
So far, my morning has not been great.
But like Lu, I turn and start walking away, because I do, in fact, have sneaking to do, starting with a layout of the castle grounds.
Chapter 10
AUREN
Sneaking, it turns out, is hard work.
Lu is right about the security though, because if I’m able to sneak around, then their patrols aren’t the best. I don’t exactly blend in. Not that I don’t have to put in effort to not be seen—I do. But the fact that I’m able to get around without being caught is a bit concerning. I’m not exactly experienced at being covert.
I take my time scouting the castle grounds, making note of everything I see. After a while though, I start to just meander around, simply enjoying being outside by myself. It’s peaceful here in a way that Highbell never was, no angry blizzards or wailing winds. There’s just a gentle snowfall that comes and goes, white feather clouds to plume the sky.
Luckily for me, the grounds of Ranhold Castle are vast, so I have plenty of places to wander. I see the kennels, ice sculptures, a courtyard, and rows of greenhouses. I’m able to build a map in my head, keeping particular note of every door that leads into the castle. It makes me feel better to get a layout of the exits, just in case.
Between the greenhouses, I watch my feet as I walk, my mind drifting back to Lu. My shoes crunch over the snowy walkway, the glass panes next to me frosted over in crystallized webs to trap my thoughts. I wonder what she’s doing here and why she snuck into Ranhold. I also wonder if she or Judd or Osrik are doing anything…sinister.
The fact is, I don’t really know much about them. I mean, Rip refers to them as his Wrath. That nickname doesn’t exactly give the warm and fuzzies.
Yet, they treated me well while I was with them. Aside from my first encounter with Osrik, none of them were unkind to me. If anything, they went above and beyond any preconceived expectations.
But they have a lot of secrets. For one, they know Rip is fae, and now, they know I am too. I can’t even begin to try and untangle the repercussions of that, the what-ifs. Are they going to use it against me? Do they also know that Rip is leading a double life?
It makes my head spin and keeps worry locked in my joints. The not knowing makes me feel vulnerable, open for anyone to take advantage of me.
Maybe that’s why I reacted as strongly as I did when Rip revealed himself to me. For the first time in my life, I thought I’d found someone who knew the real me and wasn’t put off. Someone who wasn’t manipulating me.
I catch my reflection in the windowpane of the greenhouse, and even with the rippled glass, I can see the pain right there in my golden eyes. A pain I’m trying to deny.
My pride was hurt, sure, but my heart was hurt more. Because Rip felt like more. Almost.
He was my almost more.
An idea, a hope, a reach in the dark. It wasn’t until my fist closed around emptiness that I realized I was grasping for him.
And that’s what makes my eyes sting with regret. He pushed me to light, to burn, only to douse me with ashen deceit.
I’ve taken it personally, and I probably shouldn’t have, but you can’t reason with feelings. They do what they want, forcing you to endure. All you can do is grit your teeth and take it, hoping that time will dull it down.