Ishu blinks slowly, like she’s having a hard time processing this information. “You didn’t share it with her?”
“I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”
“You think I sent it to her? On purpose?”
“It’s the only explanation,” I say, even though now it sounds ridiculous. Of course, Ishu wouldn’t send her sister this on purpose. Not after literally running away from Nik after our first date. Not after what she told me about her relationship with Nik.
“Why would I send it to her?” Ishu asks.
“I guess … you wouldn’t,” I say. “I just assumed … but … after everything that happened at Seven Wonders, I should have known …”
Ishu bites her lip. “What if I sent it to her by accident?” Pausing, she looks up to meet my eyes. “She didn’t say anything about it to me, so … she must not have told anyone yet.”
It’s the “yet” that makes me afraid. I can’t imagine what would happen if people found out that all of this has been an act. Aisling and Dee would never let me live it down—they would never ever believe that I’m really bisexual. They’ll be convinced that I did this whole thing as a stunt for attention.
“So, you think she’s going to tell someone?” I ask. “Because if people find out …”
“I know.” Ishu’s voice is little more than a whisper. “She could … tell my parents.”
Silence sits between us again. But this time there’s nothing awkward about it; it’s heavy with the knowledge that someone knows our secret. That with just one click, someone can undo everything that we’ve been working toward.
Ishu’s face is contorted into an expression that I’ve never really seen on her before. I edge toward her until we’re basically face-to-face. “It’s going to be okay. Your sister … she won’t tell anyone.” I try to say it with conviction that I definitely don’t feel.
Ishu meets my gaze, and her expression softens. For the first time today, I notice that she’s wearing makeup. There’s a hint of eyeliner around her eyes, and a tint of pink on her lips. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ishu wearing makeup before. The familiar knot tugs at my belly, and I feel warmth creep up my neck.
“You don’t know Nik,” Ishu says. “And … you don’t know what our relationship is like.”
“Maybe we can talk to her and … explain the situation …”
Ishu is smiling now, as if I’ve said something really funny.
“What?”
“It’s just … nice that you think Nik will listen to reason,” she says. “And … I guess it’s nice that I’m not dealing with this on my own.”
“We can figure out a solution together,” I say, trying to ignore the fact that Ishu’s words are making me warm all over again. And that I’m distinctly aware of the fact that we’ve gone from sitting at opposite ends of the bed to being dangerously close to each other. But I don’t know how to put space between us again without going back to our awkwardness from before. Without making Ishu aware of how being close to her makes me feel things that I definitely do not want—or need—to be feeling.
“Maybe,” Ishu surprises me by saying. It seems she surprises herself, because she blinks slowly like she’s not sure she’s said those words herself. “I mean, since it’s not just going to be me dealing with it … maybe together we can find a solution.”
Ishu’s eyes are peering into mine, and somehow I’ve never noticed just how warm they are. The light of the sun pouring in through her window illuminates a hint of golden brown in them. Suddenly, all I can think of is the lack of space between us. The fact that if I inched my hands forward, I would reach her fingers. If I leaned my face forward, I would find hers. I guess Ishu must have been thinking the exact same thing, because she does inch her hand forward. Instead of my fingers, she finds a strand of hair and curls it around her fingers. Her touch sends a shiver down my spine. Before I know it, my body is leaning forward of its own accord. The bed creaks beneath me. I close my eyes, and—
“Ishu!” Aparna Aunty’s voice screeches from downstairs. Ishu bounces back from me. I nearly fall off the bed in my rush to get away from her, even though the bedroom door is locked and Aunty’s voice is ridiculously far away: “Niche eshe mishti khao.”
Ishu rolls her eyes at me. “Okay, Ammu. We’re coming.”