“Right.” Hani nods. “So, you need to talk to your sister.”
And that’s what I was afraid of her saying, because I don’t know how a conversation with my sister about this would go.
“What if that makes it worse?” I ask. “I mean … right now, she hasn’t said anything or done anything, but … if I bring it up, maybe that’ll make her do something.”
“We can’t just wait around and hope for the best,” Hani says. “And we can’t exactly take it back.”
“We could delete the whole thing!” I say, even though the idea of deleting it makes me feel a little hollow inside. The fake dating guide might be filled with evidence of our lie, but it also feels like a history of us.
Hani shakes her head slowly. “We could delete it … but Nik already knows. She could have saved the whole thing if she really wanted to use it against us.”
I slump back in the uncomfortable bench, feeling the wood of it digging into my skin. It was donated by the graduating class of sixth years a while back. It even has a gold plaque in the middle announcing it. I don’t know why they couldn’t have donated something with a cushion.
“Ishu …” Hani sighs. “I know you don’t want to talk to her—”
“It’s the last thing I want to do.” It’s been weeks since Nik and I have come into contact—I’ve barely even thought about her since that day outside our house. And maybe that should make me feel bad, but I’m not the one who threw everything away for the sake of a guy. Though, when I see the way Hani is looking at me, I think maybe I can understand Nik’s motivations at least a little.
“… but I can help. We can come up with a script or something. And, you know, I can be there when you guys talk. I can—
“I’ll talk to her,” I blurt out. “Today … or … tomorrow, maybe. I don’t know. It was my fault she found out … I’ll deal with it.”
Hani meets my gaze with a smile and I realize that there’s so little distance between us again. Even with the humdrum of students around us, it feels like it’s just Hani and me here. Just the two of us separate from the rest of the world somehow.
The bell rings out, shrill and sharp, and Hani jumps up, brushing her long black locks of hair out of her eyes.
“We should get to class,” she says.
“Yeah.” I sigh.
Can we talk?
I send the text before I can think about it too much. As soon as I send it, I toss my phone onto my bed and open up my maths books. I’m going to test myself on some theorems and try to forget about tomorrow morning.
But before I can even glance at a single theorem, my phone buzzes with a call. My heart leaps into my throat. When I glance at the screen, it’s Nik’s name that flashes on it. I slide to the right to accept the call.
“Hey.”
“You wanted to talk?” Nik’s voice is hesitant. In the background, I can hear the hum of music, and the cheers of people. “Are you out?”
“Not really,” Nik says.
“How can you ‘not really’ be out? Either you’re out or you’re not.”
“Well …” Nik heaves a sigh. “I’m … at a party, it’s at my place, so I’m in, but …”
“You shouldn’t have called me from a party. I’ll—”
“No!” Nik exclaims before I can hang up. “I want to talk. The party isn’t important. Are you okay? Did … something happen?”
“I don’t know …” I say slowly. “Did something happen?”
Silence hangs between us for a moment. Or as silent as it can be when I can hear the low hum of music coming from her end.
“So, I guess you’re going to be super cryptic,” Nik says finally.
“Well … maybe I wouldn’t have to be cryptic if you could just be fucking straightforward about things.”
Nik breathes a heavy sigh. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about, Ishu. Is this about Ammu and Abbu? The girl you’re seeing? School? You know I’m here for you. I told you that I—”
“You have something of mine.” I cut her off. The words are all rushing out of me suddenly, like if I don’t get them out of me immediately I’m going to explode. “I sent it to you by accident and I don’t know what you’re planning on doing with it, but I just need you to know that I’m not the only one who’ll be hurt if you tell people about it. Hani, she’s … my friend, and she’ll also—”