“Hey, are you okay?” Aisling asks when she comes around to my locker. She even leans in and gives me a hug, like she feels sorry for me and everything I’m going through. “Did you and Ishita talk?”
“Yeah,” I stuff the last of my books into my locker and close the door. It makes a satisfactory click. “Ishita said she didn’t cheat off you.”
“Obviously she would say that.” Aisling leans against the locker next to me and looks at me with pity in her eyes. “But … well, the truth is the truth.”
“It is …” I say. “I wish … I wish you’d tell me the truth, Aisling.” I say it softly, but the change in Aisling’s face is immediate. Her soft and piteous expression hardens, like I’ve made an accusation. She stands up straight and shoots me a small glare.
“I am telling you the truth, Maira. I wouldn’t lie to you. I’ve been trying to look out for you this whole time.”
I rub my elbows and look down at the speckled grey floor, wishing that it would swallow me up. I don’t know how to have this conversation. I don’t want to have this conversation. “It’s just …” I start. “Ishita wouldn’t—”
“You’ve been with Ishita for, like, a couple of weeks. We’ve been best friends our whole lives, Maira. Come on, don’t do this. Sisters before misters, right?” Her hand presses onto my shoulder. When I look up and meet her gaze she’s smiling sympathetically. “Don’t worry. Dee and I will find you someone way better than Ishita. Even a girl if you really swing that way.”
I step back from her grip, keeping my eyes steadily on her. “What do you mean … if I really swing that way?”
“I mean …” Aisling rolls her eyes. “Come on, you know what I mean. I figured you’re still making up your mind. Whatever you want, is what I mean.”
I shake my head. “Aisling … you know that I’m bisexual. That’s not swinging one way or another way,” I say. “I don’t know why you’ve been so weird about it.”
Aisling sighs and folds her arms over her chest. “I don’t know why you’re being so weird about it. It doesn’t have to be such a big deal. You’re going to end up with one or the other at the end of the day, so.”
“That doesn’t mean my sexuality changes. Is that why you’ve been calling Ishu and me lesbians, because you think two girls being together have to be lesbians?”
Aisling rolls her eyes again. “Why is this even a thing? Everyone knows that you’re going to be with a guy at the end of the day, and this whole bisexuality thing is your way of seeming interesting or whatever. Like you’re so Muslim you won’t even drink a drop of alcohol and you want us to think you’re for real gay?”
“Wow.” I shake my head. I’m not even sure how to respond to her, or how to set her right about Muslims and gay people. I had thought that she and Dee were finally coming around, what with them actually spending time with me and Ishu, and actually seeming to get along with Ishu. It seems like the whole thing has been off-track from the beginning. Maybe Aisling and Dee were never going to come around, no matter what I said to them.
“I should go to class.” I swing my bag over my shoulder. Aisling just looks at me with that frown on her lips. For a moment, I think she’s going to say something more, try to defend her position more. But as I turn and head away from her, she doesn’t say another word.
chapter thirty-seven
ishu
NIK AND I DON’T TALK DURING MOST OF THE DRIVE. With each turn, I get more and more nervous. The road we’re driving down feels disturbingly familiar.
“What exactly are we doing?” I ask.
“Fixing things,” Nik says, staring straight ahead. “Don’t worry, you’ll feel a lot better after this.”
By the time we’re taking the last turn, my stomach is in shambles and I’m pretty sure I’m going to throw up.
“Nik … I didn’t come to school today for a reason!” I exclaim. “Why are we here?”
“Trust me, okay?” Nik reaches forward and takes my hand into hers. She gives my fingers a reassuring squeeze. “I would not bring you here if I didn’t know exactly what I was doing. Come on.”
It’s two o’clock, so lunchtime has thankfully already passed. The hallways are deserted as Nik and I enter, Nik with her head held high and me all but cowering behind her.