Nik just sits in her chair, silent tears sliding down her cheeks. I don’t know what to say or do.
How could Nik be so … foolish? How could she come here after months and months and declare that she is going to leave uni to get married? Why would she leave uni to get married?
“They’ll … come around,” I offer, placing my hand on Nik’s shoulder in what I hope is a soothing gesture. She shrugs me off, like my touch burns her.
“They won’t,” she says. “God, I don’t know why I thought there was even a chance they’d understand.”
“It’s big news,” I say defensively. “You can’t really blame them for being angry. You’ve worked so hard to get into UCL, and to throw that away—”
“I’m not!” Nik exclaims. “I said … I said I’d go back and finish the degree. Just … right now isn’t … it’s not a good time. I need time …” It sounds more like she’s trying to convince herself than me.
“Can’t you marry him and finish off the year?” I ask. “I mean, it’s just a wedding—”
“I can’t.” Nik’s voice is stone. “You wouldn’t understand. You’ve never …” She shakes her head, like even trying to explain is beyond her. “I should go. Rakesh got us a hotel room in town—”
“He’s here?”
“Yeah … I thought I would introduce him, you know. But … maybe not. I don’t know. I have to think about it. Can you …” She finally turns to me, her eyes wide and pleading. It’s an expression I’ve never seen on my sister before. “Try to persuade them that I’m doing the right thing?”
How can I when I know she’s definitely doing the wrong thing? But how can I deny her when she’s just been crying?
“Sure, I’ll try,” I promise half-heartedly.
It’s enough for Nik, because she actually smiles. “Thanks, Ishu.”
I keep my door slightly ajar that evening, listening to the sound of Ammu and Abbu discussing the events that unfolded earlier today. They’re always so sure that I’m busy with my studies, so used to my quiet self, that they would never imagine I could be listening, or even paying attention.
“We have to find some way to get her back to university,” Ammu says, like it’s her decision and not Nik’s. I’m sure my parents could find a way to convince Nik to go back. They’re pretty persuasive.
“I’ll talk to her. One-to-one. She’s young. She’s just caught up with this idea of being in love.” Abbu sounds convinced. “It’ll be okay.”
“What if it isn’t?” Ammu’s voice sounds desperate. “What are you going to do if you can’t convince her? We’ve spent our entire life trying to make those two into human beings, and now—”
“Nik will go back to university and finish her degree and become a doctor.” Abbu’s voice carries a tone of finality that makes me wonder who he’s trying to convince. “And … Ishu … she’s doing fine. She’s on the right path, right?”
I sit up, nearly dropping the maths book I was pretending to study.
“We thought Nik was on the right path too.” Ammu sighs, like Nik’s decision to take a year away from university is somehow contagious. “Nik was always so … on track. I don’t understand what could have happened.”
“I’m going to call her and figure things …” I close the door to my room softly as Ammu and Abbu continue trying to solve the Nik problem.
Setting my book down on the desk, I slump down in my seat, not sure what to think. I always thought that if I kept my head down and studied and did my best and went to the best university I could also study medicine, and Abbu and Ammu would be proud of me. This is what we’ve been working for my whole life. Not just me, but them too. They moved us here, to this country, to have a better life. To have a shot at all of the things that they didn’t have a shot at.
Now, just because Nik is a screw up, that suddenly means that I might be too? My parents have always seen us as a unit, though Nik and I have little in common. Now I realize that they had just two shots at getting it exactly right, and since Nik is screwing up her shot, I have to show them that I’m willing to do whatever it takes.
I just have to figure out a way to prove it.
chapter five
hani
I DON’T KNOW WHY, BUT ISHITA AND HER PUCKERED-UP angry face follow me all the way to the cinema. If Aisling and Dee find it strange that I hardly say a word on the bus, they don’t say anything. They’re too busy exchanging glances and giggling together. This is usually how things go when I’m the fifth wheel at their dates.