I yanked the door open and strode out into the corridor, almost knocking straight into the slippery salmon himself as I hurried towards a bath to soak my begonias in anticipation of the day.
“Oh Maxy boy, do watch where you’re drooling or someone will slip,” I chided, reaching out to shut his gaping jaw with a sharp tap of my index finger before taking off at a fast pace.
“Where the fuck are your clothes?” he spluttered, scrambling after me like a snake on its belly, once again drawn close by my feminine wiles.
“I have no time for garments on a morning such as this,” I replied, wondering if he intended on following me about endlessly and if I could make use of his brawn for hanging decorations if he did.
“Everyone has time for fucking garments, Gerry. People are gonna see your tits if you keep walking around out here like this and then I’m gonna have to kill them and there will be a whole clean up issue and-”
I stopped abruptly, whirling around so that he crashed straight into me as he failed to notice my halt in time to stop himself. He grasped the ample curve of my backdoor to stop himself from falling and I rightfully punched him in the nose, knocking him back once more.
“Do not lay a hand on my personage until after the nuptials, you salacious squid,” I cried, wafting him back as I cast a leaf over each of my nipples and a petunia to bloom over Lady Petunia to stop his constant gandering. “I haven’t the time to spare on watering the lawn until then.”
“I wasn’t trying to grope you, I almost fell on my ass when you stopped like that,” he barked. “And I was going to say…wait a minute did you just say not until after the nuptials? Like you’re down to hook up after then?”
“It is a wedding, is it not?” I asked him, unsure if he’d hit his head on my bouncing Bettys and gotten a concussion when we collided. “What kind of wedding would it be if the bridesmaid didn’t end up with an eel in her secret Cecil by the end of the night?”
“In your…where the fuck is a secret Cecil?” he asked, frowning at the leaves which concealed my lady nips like they weren’t to his satisfaction, and I rolled my eyes at his constant ignorance of the female form. Honestly, without my training I wasn’t sure he’d even know a poppet hole from an under globe.
“Well, if you can’t figure it out then maybe I should find someone who can.” I threw my hands up in despair and turned away from him, giving him a full look at the orifice in question as I took off at a fierce pace, already losing too much time to this bothersome barracuda.
“You can’t keep wandering about dressed like that!” Max yelled after me, but I just waved him off and kept going, heading to the bathhouse to douse my petunia and freshen my fanny.
“Make way!” I bellowed, breaking into a sprint as I made it to the cavern which held the royal baths and a few early risers shrieked in alarm as they were forced to leap aside as I took a running jump and swan dove into the pool.
I arose from the water like a swan shedding its grey down and emerging all in white feathers at long last. I grasped a washalilie and scrubbed my flesh like a heathen, scouring every nook and cranny in record sped before dousing myself with a cold wash of icy water magic and leaping from the pool once more, a petunia and two green leaves floating away across the water behind me as I strode back out of the bathhouse and headed for my room.
The antagonising anaconda was waiting for me in the corridor as anticipated and I sighed dramatically, shrouding myself in moss to cover my body before he could chastise me any further.
“Do make yourself useful if you plan on shadowing me and dry my hair for me,” I called over my shoulder as I passed him by, not giving him the opportunity to start blathering on.
“You know, you’re kinda moody today, Gerry,” he pointed out as a gust of warm air spun around me and dried me out so thoroughly that I could have practically started a fire by rubbing my thighs together.
“Well, if I could get the preparations done in good time then that would alleviate a lot of my tension, but the list is endless, and time is ticking away.” I pushed back into my room and let the door swing closed in his face before dismissing the magic which covered my bountiful body and pulling on a pair of denim dungarees and a white t-shirt.
Angelica was thankfully out of bed, getting herself dressed for the day and I double checked with her that she had everything under control for the wedding meal which we would sup on after the nuptials.
I drilled her eight times over the details to make certain she had them all in hand so that I could be assured that not so much as a buttery bagel would be left aside, and I finally allowed her to finish putting her bra on once I was satisfied.