My heart tugged with longing at the thought of growing up with a family like Geraldine’s, the warmth of such love surrounding our home.
“That she did, Papa. Every Christmas we would make themed bagels too. Cinnamon and eggnog, brandy and spice, oh – I cannot wait to do it again, I shall bake us up a bagel bounty.”
“Do you have any Christmas traditions, Angelica?” Hamish asked her and she nodded.
“My mom always gets us to lay out on the roof and stargaze. We cuddle up in blankets at midnight on Christmas Eve each year with a glass of mulled wine. It’s my favourite thing in the world,” she cooed and my heart tugged even sharper as I shared a glance with Tory, seeing the same ache in her eyes.
“Me and my family always go Carol singing,” Sofia said, her face lighting up. “We put on these massive silly Christmas pyjamas in our Pegasus forms. Half the fun is trying to get into them while we’re shifted, and all of us fall about laughing our asses off. The one who gets into them last has to wear a silly hat too which has the word Pegadunce on it,” she giggled. “We fly from house to house in our neighbourhood, shift back into our Fae forms with these baggy clothes hanging off of us and sing to all our neighbours.”
“Oh what fun! I shall have to join you in this merriment one year,” Geraldine cried.
“Do you have any family traditions?” Angelica looked to Tory and I and quiet fell as we glanced at each other.
“Um…” I chewed my lip awkwardly.
“Christmas isn’t really our thing,” Tory said, trying to deflect.
“Halibut! You must have some tradition,” Geraldine pressed and they all looked to us eagerly while my stomach knotted and heat rose in my skin.
“Well we have a snowball fight,” I said.
“Of course you do!” Geraldine cried. “And what else, do you snuggle around the fire afterwards and cosy up with a cup of hot nosh and open your presents?”
“We didn’t really have presents,” I said awkwardly.
“No presents?” Sofia gasped and Tory became overly interested in her nails as everyone kept staring at us.
“We had each other,” I tried, but then they just all looked a whole lot sadder for us.
“But you must have had a kind and bubbly foster mother? And a sweet-toothed foster sister with a fondness for warm hugs?” Geraldine asked, looking desperate for that to be true and I realised why we’d never brought these things up with her before. We’d told her a few bits and pieces of our past, but she’d be devastated to know how bad it had really been.
“We didn’t have anyone,” Tory said bluntly and I felt those words ringing around the empty space inside my chest.
“It was us. Just us,” I said, sharing a look with Tory and she smiled half-heartedly back at me.
Catalina suddenly touched my arm and I looked to her, finding her face taut with emotion. “You deserved better.”
My heart turned to mush at the way she was looking at me lately. She was so naturally motherly that she pulled us all beneath her wings with barely any effort at all. And I yearned so deeply for that part of me to be fulfilled that it was easy to let her, and to allow myself to bathe in the affection from her that we had never known from our own mom.
“Maybe this year we could create some new traditions?” Catalina suggested, her eyes brightening as she looked between me and Tory hopefully. “There were so many I wanted to have with my boys over the years, but Lionel never allowed it…” She blew out a harsh breath. “The point is, that both of you as well as my boys, Lance and me missed out on a lot of things, but that’s no reason to keep missing them. Can you think of anything you might like to do?”
“I wouldn’t hate a Christmas Eve drag race,” Tory said, her lips quirking in amusement. “I could get Darius a new bike every year and give it to him early just to beat his ass in a race right in time for the festivities.”
“Oh and we could all attend!” Catalina said enthusiastically. “We could knit family sweaters each year and wear them to the race and bake festive goodies to eat while we watch.”
“I’ve always wondered how you make mince pies,” I said with a shrug, kinda liking the idea of learning.
“And I’ve always liked eating mince pies,” Tory added, making me laugh.
“We could go for a flight on New Year’s Day?” I suggested. “Lance could ride Darius and we could invite Gabriel’s family too?”