“You’re not cursed, Blue,” he said in a way that told me how absolutely terrified he was that I could be. Like saying those words would stop it from being true.
I rested my hands over his with an echo of pain in my heart. “But what if I am?”
His features twisted and I stared at this dark and forbidding man who would do anything to protect me from this fate.
“Then I will sell my soul to save you,” he growled, the power of those words falling into a pit of terror inside me. Because I didn’t want him to pay any price for me. He’d already given up his whole world for me, I wouldn’t let him do it again.
“No,” I said through my teeth. “We’ll figure this out together.”
He nodded, though the dark promise in his eyes told me of the sacrifice he was willing to make for me, and it left me unsettled.
“All of us will,” Gabriel agreed and I looked over at him as Orion released me, finding a line of worry on my brother’s brow. “Every curse has a way to be broken,” he added heavily and I frowned, desperately hoping there was a simple way out of this. But when had we ever been so lucky as that?
“Can you see anything that could help us?” I asked.
“If Lavinia did this, then she is the key to undoing it,” Gabriel said solemnly. “I cannot see her or this curse.”
“What of Blue’s fate?” Orion growled, gripping his friend’s arm tight as he forced Gabriel to look at him. “You must be able to see if she lives through this. What do you see, brother?” he begged.
Gabriel swallowed, pain crossing his eyes. “Orio, you have to understand, we’re in a war. I see all of you die so regularly that I can hardly stand it. There are so many fates, I cannot predict any of your futures for certain.” His eyes trailed to Darius as he joined us again, looking at me with his jaw grinding.
“What if we kill Lavinia?” Darius suggested and I nodded, liking that idea. I’d head to her now and drive a spear of ice through her chest if I could.
“Curses are not often as simple as that,” Orion said thickly, his gaze never leaving mine like he was desperate for an answer to present itself in my eyes.
“True,” Gabriel agreed with a sigh then his eyes glazed for a moment and we all stared at him in silence, waiting for him to reveal something that could help. He reached for my hand when he came back to us, squeezing tight. “I can see that you and Lance will visit the Library of the Lost, I cannot see a lot of the books you will read or what you will find within them, but I am sure that means those books contain knowledge on the shadows.”
“I’m not going anywhere until my sister is safe,” I said stubbornly and Gabriel nodded slowly, his eyes glazing again then a relieved breath fell from his chest.
“She will be back very soon,” he said finally and a weight fell from me like the whole sky had been resting on my shoulders.
Gabriel’s posture loosened and I realised how awful it must be to see everyone you love dying around you in visions, seeing their end a thousand times and only being able to nudge them away from death where possible. It sounded like hell.
“You’re sure?” Darius asked, a crease of anxiety between his eyes.
“Yes,” Gabriel promised. “The fate is set.”
“Thank fuck for that.” Orion swiped a hand down his face then dropped onto the bed beside me with his jaw ticking. “Tell me everything you can about how you feel, Blue. I need to know as much as possible so I can help search for the right books in that library.”
I nodded, shame inching into to me at what I was about to say. Because suddenly I didn’t want the world to know what I feared was happening to me. It made me weak, and Fae were the exact opposite of that. But I couldn’t keep this from everyone, I had to fight it, had to find a way to stop it, and I couldn’t do it alone.
“It’s like there’s a chasm inside me,” I said tightly, placing a hand against my chest where I felt it. “And out of it spills rage and anger and hate. But it takes from me too. It sucks away my magic, feeding on it like some hungry animal, and…” I choked on my next words, the fear they caused me swallowing me into a void. “It wants to take my Phoenix too. When I power shared with Tory, it was like that rage took over and power exploded from me as I tried to fight back. But then as I was falling, I couldn’t sense any of my magic at all. I felt…” Tears burned my eyes, but I didn’t let them spill over as dread burst through my chest.