“A Cyclops could,” I pointed out.
“But I think we have enough evidence to put you down anyway, Jeremy,” Darius added and we shared a savage smile.
“N-no, please, just let me go,” he begged.
“You like to kill your victims by ripping them apart, mauling them with tooth and claw,” I growled, my hand ripping at his hair so hard, it was coming loose at the roots. “Maybe we’ll do the same to you.”
“It’s only fair, Joseph,” Darius agreed, his monster on full display.
“Holy raisins on a sandy flan!” Hamish burst into the room followed by Geraldine. “You cannot kill him, there must be a formal trial. We are not coots in a coop, we have to act within the laws of our kind, or what are we but cowboys riding wayward goats beneath the moon?”
“Papa is right,” Geraldine insisted, hurrying forward and picking up a kipper laid out in a trough of ice by the sink. She whacked Justin around the head with it, unleashing a screech worthy of a barn owl. “But if you are responsible for this, you unholy woodlouse, I shall shove this kipper so far up your sailor’s crocket, that it shall never see the light of day again!”
“I didn’t do it!” Justin yelled, his hand going to the wet, red mark on his cheek as Geraldine whacked him with the kipper again and again, saying a word with every strike.
“I. Shall. Bury. You. Like. A. Questionable. Orange. Laid. Out. For. The. True. Queens. To. Sup. Upon - Hear. Me. This. Day. And. Hear. Me. Ever. More.”
I stepped back to enjoy the show as Justin repeatedly took a kipper to the face then she started on his balls, slamming the whole fish against his junk and making him cough and fall to his knees.
“I’m innocent,” he rasped as Geraldine propped the kipper up on her shoulder like a weapon.
“We shall soon see which way the whelks fall,” Hamish said, puffing out his chest and grabbing hold of Justin’s arm. “You’re going to be locked up like a beetroot in a jam jar for the safety of the true queens and their people.” He dragged him out of the room and Justin looked back at Geraldine imploringly, but she just turned her back on him and placed the kipper back in the trough.
“He always did give me the colliest of wobbles,” she said with a shudder. “Perhaps my lady rivers were always telling me that a snake was lurking in my waters. A woman must never ignore the slithers in her rivers, I fear I have let the true queens down.” She fell to her knees, burying her face against Darius’ thighs and clinging to his pants so hard that they started to fall down.
“By the stars, Geraldine,” Darius muttered, trying to pull his pants back up, but Geraldine clung on so tight they slipped down with his boxers, exposing his bare ass. “Geraldine!”
He managed to get them back up as she let go of him, lunging at me and trying to get hold of my pants instead, but I shot away with my Vampire speed, coming to a halt beside Darius, our shoulders resting together.
“Let’s go tell the twins,” I suggested and Geraldine wailed, throwing a hand against her forehead.
“Oh, but you don’t know,” she gasped, shuffling toward us on her knees. “The thoroughbred steeds of my gentle ladies have been left unawares.”
“Unaware of what?” Darius gritted out.
“Our ladies Tory and Darcy have been swept away upon the wings of fate. Gabriel returned to tell us just moments ago after he delivered them to the doors of destiny.”
“What are you talking about?” I demanded.
“They have travelled to The Palace of Flames where their ancestors resided so many centuries ago to learn the ways of their kind. Our fine and gallant Gabriel believes they will be there for some time. Perhaps even months.”
“Months?” Darius choked out. “You’re joking,” he snapped. “Tell me you’re joking.”
A dangerous fire lit in his palms and Geraldine shuffled backwards on her knees with a wail. My gut sank and my arms went slack at my sides as sadness washed through me. Blue was gone? For months?
“Oh, but I am not. And yes, we shall miss them greatly, but we must also praise the stars for their kind and wondrous gift!”
“No,” Darius barked. “Tell me where they are right now.”
“I do not know. The location of The Palace of Flames has long since been lost to all memory and some say it is just a myth of a legend of a rumour,” Geraldine said dramatically. “And Gabriel will not offer the location, not when they are on such an important quest. We must await them here and think of them often, sending out positive vibes into the ether towards them, so that they may-”