“Exactly,” Gabriel replied proudly. “And when I sat watching the slow-motion replay of that big, glittering, plastic pegasex doll dick slapping him around the face at the official coronation for his shadow queen last night, I knew it was time.”
“I provided the extra glitter for that,” Xavier said proudly and I snorted a laugh as he puffed up his chest.
“Anyway, point is, we need his eye and we absolutely can’t kill him. Got it?” Gabriel pushed, looking around the group to make sure we were onboard with his plan.
Darius didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded once in agreement and Geraldine leapt to her feet.
“Oh joyous day! I’ll go get my great grandmama’s eye scoop and meet up with you dastardly fellows by the boundary in a jiffy.” She took off without giving any of us the chance to question her on the eye scoop thing, but I had to assume that was just some weird turn of phrase.
“I guess we’re going to destroy a psycho king’s holding cells then,” I said conversationally as we headed away to our rooms to grab our weapons.
“And oh, what a night it will be,” Seth sang happily as he bounded ahead, and I couldn’t help but grin at the challenge we were facing.
W e crept along the stone passages which crisscrossed beneath The Palace of Souls with Geraldine in the lead singing some strange as fuck song beneath her breath while I bit down on my tongue and tried to force myself to follow her without complaint.
But it was fucking hard.
She had literally changed direction down here for no reason at all three separate times and even though I knew that her choices were leading us further from Vard’s rooms instead of closer to them, I couldn’t say a damn word against it.
"Are you sure this is the way you want to go?” I asked through gritted teeth while Orion smirked at me, knowing full well that this was pissing me off to no end. But seriously? Was I really going to have to follow her commands throughout this entire trip even when I knew she was making insane moves that just dragged this whole thing out? “I feel like we should be trying to take a more direct route-”
“Of course you do,” Geraldine sighed, sounding utterly exasperated with me even though I’d only opened my mouth a total of three times during the hundred instances I’d wanted to since we’d entered these tunnels. “Because yours is the linear and simple mind of a well-bred dairy cow. When you see the grass you want to go directly to it - no matter if a bog monster awaits you in the swamp ahead.”
“In what way are we risking running into a bog monster?” I hissed and Orion chuckled.
“We aren't,” she replied hastily. “Because we are swimming the fair and tranquil waters of lady fate and her whims alone shall guide us to success tonight.”
I gave up on trying to reason with a mad woman and just kept my internal grumbling within my own head as she found a hidden staircase and led the way up it. Up and up and up, far beyond the second level of the palace where I knew Vard’s rooms to be.
“Avast!” Geraldine announced suddenly, pulling a door open and tossing a tapestry aside as she stepped out into the palace. “Onwards dear brother and my faithful sharp tooth, there is a game afoot!”
We hurried out into the corridor behind my insane stepsister, and she took off towards the far end of the hall with purposeful strides.
My fingers flexed for the feel of my axe in my hand but I left it strapped across my back, knowing I was already going to be tempted enough to cut Vard’s fucking head off when I saw him. I didn’t need the added temptation of having a weapon to hand to make it easier to do. I had to keep repeating that in my head though.
Do not kill the motherfucker who helped torture the woman I love. Do not kill the motherfucker who helped torture the woman I love. Do not kill the motherfucker who helped torture the woman I love.
But I could sure as fuck butcher him a bit in payment for what he’d been a part of doing to her.
A scuttling sound made me whip around as some dark shadow caught the corner of my eye and I frowned, almost certain I’d heard something there as I felt the weight of eyes on my back.
“Did you hear that?” I muttered to the others, knowing our silencing bubble would keep my words private.
“Yeah,” Orion replied, his sharp gaze scouring the far end of the hallway as that feeling of being watched increased.
“I sense a crafty cretin in the wings,” Geraldine whispered, removing her flail from her back and swinging it menacingly as she stepped in front of us to get a look. “If we are ambushed, then you must run sweet brother, for my lady requires your services more than she is in need of mine, so I shall take the fall if it comes to such a fate.”