Gabriel’s jaw dropped and I could tell he hadn’t been able to foresee those words leaving my mouth. Hell, I hadn’t even known I was going to tell him until they’d forced their way free. But there it was. The ugly, honest truth of it and now it was cutting him open just as it was carving into me.
“This will destroy her,” he breathed, the pain in his eyes on behalf of the girl I loved enough to crack something inside me.
“I know,” I choked out, feeling the raw brutality of that truth as I spoke it. “I’m weak. I know I should have stayed away from her. I should have spent this year trying to make her fall out of love with me so that it would hurt less when the time came but I…I’m nothing without her, Gabriel. She’s the only girl who ever looked at me and saw the man worth loving within my skin. She didn’t see my position or my power or my wealth. She saw me and she made me become a better man for her. She’s every fantasy I’ve ever had and every dream I ever dared give thought to, but she’s even better than that because she’s real. I can’t give her up. I might as well drive a blade through my heart right now if I have to.”
“Oh fuck,” Gabriel exhaled, his eyes glazing with The Sight as he shook his head slowly like he was trying to deny the fate laid out in front of me, but I knew he couldn’t. The power of the stars had been so immense in that place that I knew there was no denying them in this. I’d made my bargain with them. There was no changing the price. “I’m sorry, Darius…I can’t see any other future for you…”
Gabriel’s face crumpled in pain like he was already seeing the future that left Roxy with, and in that one look I knew that this would do more harm to her than any of the awful things I’d subjected her to in the past. I’d given my life for hers, but I was the one getting off lightly in that trade.
“I had to do it,” I muttered. “I couldn’t let her die.”
Gabriel nodded hopelessly before stepping forward and pulling me into a tight embrace. It was so unexpected that I only froze, unsure what the hell to make of that from a man who had made it so clear he disliked me since the moment we’d first met.
“Please don't tell the others,” I begged. “I know what they’ll do. They’ll want to focus on changing this fate, on making some other bargain and trying to save me despite it being hopeless. We need to concentrate on killing my father and destroying the Nymphs, not to mention that Shadow bitch he has working with him. They can’t waste this time on me. What if it costs them more lives than mine by stalling?”
Gabriel drew back and frowned at me, but he nodded slowly. “You’re right,” he said, clearly seeing that future too. “They’ll turn their focus onto saving you over destroying him, and…”
“And there’s no hope for me regardless, is there?” I demanded, almost wishing he’d tell me I was wrong, though I already knew he wouldn’t.
“I’m sorry, Darius,” he replied, shaking his head. “I promise I will keep looking into your future to see if any way presents itself, but…”
“Yeah,” I said bitterly, trying not to think of all the things I ached to live for beyond that ultimatum. It didn’t matter now anyway. I had to concentrate on what I could do with the time I had.
“What does this mean about your intentions for the throne?” Gabriel asked me and I released a long breath.
“I don’t know anymore. I was born to rule but now I’m fated to die. But my opinion still stands true that the Vegas don’t know enough about running this kingdom to just claim the throne and do it. They know little to nothing of the way our political system is run, and they may be powerful but they aren’t knowledgeable in all the things they would need to be so they could rule successfully. All I ever wanted was for our kingdom to be run better than it has been in the past. And I’m yet to be convinced that two mortal-raised girls could do a better job of it than my brothers who have been taught the ways of our world since the moment of their birth. We have endless plans for how we would help improve Solaria and the lives of its people. I doubt the Vegas even know where to begin.”
“So you’d have Xavier take your place on the Council?” Gabriel asked, not giving his own opinion on my thoughts on the subject of the throne, though I had to assume he was all for his sisters claiming it. But surely he could see what that future would bring to our kingdom, so maybe he was the right person to ask for advice on it.