‘But she could look entirely different now.’ Ed’s face is flushed and I feel a coldness inside. Anger at him again. The fury at Alex switching back into this room. The confusion returning that my own husband kept so much from me. Lied to me.
‘What do you mean? Stalked you?’ Ed glances back at the TV screen as if, like me, he can’t compute these two very different strands to this horrible nightmare.
‘I have to speak to DI Sanders. It can’t wait,’ I say, standing. ‘Turn the television off and get the guard back in here.’
‘No. Tell me first. What on earth do you mean? Laura’s been stalking you?’
CHAPTER 39
THE DAUGHTER – BEFORE
Discuss how Mary Shelley’s troubled family life is evident in her writing.
There’s so much going on, I’m exhausted. I’ve worked out the dates after seeing the counsellor at the clinic and I can technically bump the decision about the pregnancy until after graduation, so that’s what I’ve decided to do.
I’ll get the ceremony done and then I’ll tell Mum and Dad. Try to get them on board, whatever I decide to do. It will be horrible and I’m dreading it. I keep imagining Mum’s face. But the counsellor reminded me I’m lucky to have a family who could support me. She says I shouldn’t assume I know how they’ll react, so I’m doing what she recommended. One step at a time.
Results come in three weeks today. I’ve got everything crossed for a first but am worrying now whether ‘S’ will do anything stupid to interfere with my result. Surely he can’t do that? I’ve checked all the grades online. It’s looking good and the last exam went well. I worked really, really hard for it. Whatever. If ‘S’ tries to interfere, I’ll demand an investigation.
The counsellor’s right: I need to stop worrying about things that haven’t happened yet and concentrate on the things I can control. So – I need to wait for the result. And I need to get through the ceremony. At least I’ll have my degree. I’ll be going home.
I’ve spoken to my landlord and I can stay on in the flat until the end of the summer if I want. The other two girls are going home a bit early and travelling to graduation with their parents. I don’t want to do that. Mum will fuss, fuss, fuss and I’ll struggle to look her in the eye. I’ll have to make up some excuse to stay on; something to do with sorting the flat out.
The only thing on my mind now is getting a job. Earning a living. If I do decide to keep the baby （I really can’t picture that, to be honest, but I’m keeping it on the list of options）， I don’t want Mum and Dad to think I expect them to bail me out financially. I have no idea about stuff like childcare, but I’d need to get a job after the baby arrived and work all that out.
It sounds impossible, right?
I’ve only got retail on my CV. Working in chemists and book shops. That’s not going to earn enough to pay for childcare, is it? A while back I sent an email to the university comms department, asking for some work experience. Just a week. Something to put on the CV. So that it looks better when I apply for proper jobs later on.
But get this. The head of comms said her office was way too busy. Sorry. I wish you well. I can’t believe it. You’d think university staff would want to help their own . . .
And on top of everything – the problem with ‘A’ is back.
I thought he’d finally accepted it was over and would leave me alone. But I think people starting to talk about the graduation has stirred him up. Months ago we’d talked about getting the two families together for a joint celebration. Dinner out. Feels like a different life to remember that now.
Today and yesterday, I’ve had two more weird direct messages via Facebook. He’s not who he says he is. I’ve checked the profile – I must have accepted the friend request without checking. I do that sometimes. I’ve got hundreds of friends. That’s just how it is at uni. But I’m worried now that it’s ‘A’。 The profile has no friends. Just me. It had a picture up of a bar in town which is why I probably accepted without thinking. That picture’s still there but it’s nothing to do with the bar.
My first thought was to unfriend the profile or report it, but I’m holding off because I want to investigate. See whether the messages stop if I ignore them.
Most of all, I’m worrying that if this is ‘A’， he’s somehow found out about ‘S’。
He’s not who he says he is.