Ed took Alex fishing once on a weekend trip away while Gemma and Rachel went shopping. It was a bank-holiday weekend and they rented a cottage near a river. It had spectacular views and Rachel was mesmerised. She would stand for ages at the folding doors from the kitchen extension. Maybe we should think about moving, Ed. Somewhere with a view. What do you think?
It was back in the days when Gemma was insisting that she and Alex were ‘serious’。 Personally, Ed took this with a pinch of salt. They were kids still. But he wanted his daughter to learn her own lessons and wanted above all for her to see that he trusted her. And so yes – he played along and took his daughter’s boyfriend fishing. It was a little awkward at first but Alex wasn’t bad company. They talked music mostly and discovered an unexpected mutual appreciation of jazz; in the end, Ed rather enjoyed the couple of hours at the river together. They didn’t catch anything, but it was fun to share the stories of the bites when the girls returned laden with shopping bags. And he loved Gemma’s smile when she caught his eye and he gave her the thumbs up.
Later in bed Rachel had said she was grateful too as she’d had a lovely time with Gemma, just the two of them. But then she paused and added in quite a serious tone that she found Alex a little bit too good to be true.
What do you mean?
Well – bringing me presents each time. Don’t you find that a little bit much? A bit creepy?
He had to think about it for a bit. Most people would be grateful for a young man who bothered with gifts but she was right, actually. It was a little bit weird. As if Alex wanted to ingratiate himself with Gemma with a show of consideration towards Rachel. It would have been fine and understandable if he and Rachel were close but they weren’t at all. When left alone together, Alex struggled to find anything to say to Rachel. He would immediately get his phone out, she said. Borderline rude. It was almost as if he only wanted to make an effort if Gemma was watching. Ed hadn’t liked this about Alex, but at the time he put it down to his youth.
The truth was, Ed had always seen Alex as wanting to impress Gemma and that hadn’t seemed such a bad thing in a boyfriend. He had honestly not seen any sign in Alex that he was capable of turning on Gemma. Was that a lack of judgement on his part as a father or was Alex just a very good actor?
Whatever the case, Ed now sees Alex as someone deeply troubled – maybe even with some kind of personality disorder. His thinking is that anyone capable of staging that horrific nonsense at the car park is capable of the shooting at the cathedral.
He shudders at the thought of it. Him alongside Alex fishing. Alex in the cathedral with a gun?
What Ed still can’t contemplate is that Laura would be involved. He’s desperately trying to work out why the hell Laura might travel to the UK. There’s been no contact in years so it really shook him when DI Sanders said she was no longer at the clinic in Canada. But the greater leap is Rachel’s new suspicion that she’s here in the UK and has been following her. That could be mistaken identity, of course. Paranoia even? But what the hell is the postcard all about? He presses his hand against his pocket – the rectangle of cardboard inside a plastic bag in case the police need to check for prints. He’s planning to hand it over to DI Sanders, but all of a sudden a crazy thought circles the room and lands in his brain.
Is there a chance the postcard could actually be down to Rachel? Getting back at him? For the secret over Laura . . . He glances across at his wife. This woman has not a bad bone in her body. No, no, no. He’s going mad. She wouldn’t do something like that – not Rachel. Not in the middle of all of this. Would she?
‘What?’ Rachel has looked up from her book.
‘I didn’t say anything.’
‘You made a really weird noise. Like exasperation. Or shock or something.’
Ed wasn’t aware that he’d made any noise at all. ‘Sorry. Mind in overdrive here.’
‘Me too.’
‘I know I’ve said it already but if I could go back in time—’
She puts her hand up to stop him. ‘Please. Don’t, Ed. Just don’t.’
He stretches his arm to put his book down on the end of Gemma’s bed, conscious only as he stares at it afterwards that it’s in the very place her foot should be. Rachel follows his gaze and he can tell by her expression that she’s acknowledging the very same thought.
They don’t say anything. Neither of them are ready to talk about how they’re going to tell their daughter. The prospect of rehab. What it will be like – all the physio and the reality of some kind of prosthetic limb. They don’t talk about it because even that horror – the adjustment that their beautiful daughter has to face – is an assumption too far.