“Well, you’ve got me,” I say. “And I’m a lot.”
Turns out, Ben’s startled laugh is still one of the best sounds on earth.
Chapter Thirteen
Ben
Thursday, May 28
Kool Koffee hasn’t changed much over the past couple of years. Samantha’s past regulars still recognize her, sitting at a table by the door with me and Dylan. It’s like she’s some celebrity visiting home, and she still remembers so much about them: “Staying strong with that decaf, Brian?”
“You were so right about going away for school, Greg.”
“Congrats again on the wedding, Stephanie!”
“Do we need to get you a disguise?” I ask Samantha. “Maybe some sunglasses.”
“Ben, do we ask you to put on concealer to hide your freckles?” Dylan asks. “No, because we don’t hide beauty in this house.”
“We’re in a coffee shop.”
“It’s an expression.”
“For people who live together.”
Dylan glares at me from over his double-espresso mocha with two pumps of caramel.
“Hi, I’m still here,” Samantha says, waving. “Anyway, Ben, we keep getting interrupted.”
“By your fans,” I say.
“My adoring friends, yes. So why are you so nervous about meeting Mikey?”
It’s been a few days since seeing Arthur at the diner, but the idea of hanging out with Mikey is still eating away at me. I’ve even had a couple dreams where I’m this third wheel as they make out in front of me. It’s gotten me to the point where I wake up in the middle of the night and try to work, but my escapist world feels polluted with all the King Arturo scenes.
“I don’t know how good I’m going to feel about myself after meeting with Mikey,” I answer.
“Then maybe you shouldn’t meet him,” Samantha says.
“But Arthur met Mario,” I say.
“Because you also thought Mikey was going to be there. And you had us.”
I mess around with the leftover ice from my lemonade. “I want to be a good friend. And Arthur showed up even though he knew Mikey wasn’t going to be there. I just think backing out now makes it look weird.”
“Just lie and say you’re working on your book,” Dylan says.
“I mean, I am working on my book.”
“Cute little lemonade break you’re having.”
I shift slightly, so that I’m face-to-face with Samantha. “I just don’t think it’s fair if Arthur can spend all night with my people and I can’t meet Mikey.”
Samantha nods. “Maybe you’ll prove yourself wrong and Mikey won’t make you feel inferior at all—not that I think he should.”
“Definitely not,” Dylan says. “I’ve written poetry about you. You think I’m writing poetry about Mikey?”
“Do you plan on writing any for me?” Samantha asks.
“Do you plan on letting a poet breathe? Everything in good time.” Dylan hides behind his hand and mouths, “Help me write a poem.”
“Write your own poem,” I tell him. “Between us, Arthur said that he and Mikey haven’t said ‘I love you’ yet,” I add.
Dylan’s eyes widen. “But they’ve been together forever in gay years.”
“Please find me a calendar with gay years.”
“You would love that, wouldn’t you?” Dylan winks.
Samantha sighs and turns to Dylan. “I’m powering you down for two minutes.” She pulls out her phone and sets a timer. “Any last words?”
“You’ll regret this,” Dylan says.
“I always do.” Samantha kisses his cheek and presses start on the timer. “Ben, we don’t have much time. I wouldn’t spend so much energy obsessing over what Arthur and Mikey’s deal is. That’s for them to figure out and not for you to worry about.”
She’s right. Arthur could be telling Mikey ‘I love you’ this very second.
“I think I wouldn’t be obsessing over this if things were clearer with Mario. But it feels like this unspoken agreement where we don’t want to ruin a good thing by defining the relationship. It’s just hard,” I say.
Between his tightly sealed lips, Dylan murmurs, “That’s what he said.”
Samantha adds another thirty seconds to the timer. “Ben, you need to figure everything out with Mario. You deserve to know how someone feels about you. Dylan made his feelings really clear.”