Lo’s face contorts in a series of emotions, and Lily reaches out and wraps her arm around his waist. He calms down by the single touch.
Rose places her hands on her hips. “I don’t see the problem here.”
“Darling,” Connor says with the shake of his head. “Don’t make it worse.”
She huffs. “They’re both consenting—”
“I’m not consenting,” Ryke suddenly says, not looking at me. “Because nothing is fucking going on.” His eyes meet Lo’s and they soften for him. “Okay?”
They both have trust issues.
I know it doesn’t help that Ryke is lying to him about sleeping in my bed. If Lo found out, he would disapprove and find a way to separate us for the betterment of my health. But I think my health is the best when I’m with Ryke. Sleeping without him has been nearly impossible. I need the reassurance at night, the confidence of another person in order to sleep without fear. Otherwise, I can’t even get an hour of shuteye.
But I’m not keeping Ryke at gunpoint. If he wants to leave, I’d let him. And I guess I’d have to find someone to replace him. I’m not even sure that’s possible though. Maybe in my heart, I just know that I only want Ryke Meadows.
“Let’s eat,” Connor says. “The eggs are going to get cold.”
We all wait for one of the brothers to make a move first. They have the power to reignite the argument or dissolve it.
Lo opens his mouth, needing the last word. “I didn’t accept you into my life so you could bang my girlfriend’s little sister. Don’t make me regret letting you in.”
That one stung. I felt it like a sharp kick.
Lo walks away, disappearing inside, and Ryke doesn’t wait for me. He goes in right after him. Connor is next, leaving me alone with my sisters.
“Well,” I say to them, “there are always fireworks at my parties, aren’t there?”
“Do you need a hug?” Rose asks me. “Because if you do, Lily can give you one.”
Lily looks at Rose like really?
“You give better hugs than I do. I know my weaknesses.” Rose raises her chin at me. “But really, are you okay?”
I shrug. “Yeah.” They think I have this massive crush on Ryke, and while I do like him, I understand more than anyone what we can and cannot do. I’ve accepted that reality for so long that the fantasy is always us being together.
I skip towards them and wrap my arms around their shoulders. “Thank you for the decorations, by the way. They’re beautiful.”
They both smile when I do.
That lights up any black spots that dotted my heart. But it’s not enough to take away the panic that I’ll feel come nighttime. Sometimes I wish it could be daylight forever. I wish that I could be with these five people and never have to face the world alone.
But Paris is my test.
I want to pass, but a part of me wonders if it’s even possible to be that fearless girl again. Maybe too much has changed to go back.
< 7 >
DAISY CALLOWAY
I wash the dishes after dinner, offering since Connor and Lo cooked. Everyone just acted like nothing happened in the garage, which was as expected. This wasn’t the first time I’ve been too close to Ryke in front of them.
It’s an exhausting fight and one that’s strangely become predictable.
Ryke enters the kitchen, everyone else in the living room. I look up, expecting another body passing through the archway. “They know why I’m here,” he says off my lingering gaze.
I frown. “You’re going to help me wash dishes?”
He grabs a bowl from the cupboard. “No. We all watched you push your fucking eggs around for thirty minutes.” He picks out granola cereal from another cabinet, his favorite brand. I’m sure he left a box here after early morning runs at Lo’s house.
“I ate the fruit,” I tell him. Fashion Week is coming up. I want to eat more than anyone. I just have a lot of self-control.
He opens the fridge for the milk. “Fucking fantastic,” he says to me. “Now I’m really at ease.”
“I also tried the bacon.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“Okay, I didn’t eat the bacon, but I wanted to.” I put the last plate into the dishwasher and then climb up on the counter. He makes the cereal beside me.
“You know what I fucking learned today?” he says, his features really dark. “Rose just told Connor, my brother, and me that you have irregular periods because of your weight.”