Dorian’s a wreck through practice that night, plays sloppy, nowhere near as talkative as usual. He can’t even look Barbie in the eye. I have to physically push him toward Barbie as we head out of the arena for him to finally pull him aside. He tells him something in quiet Spanish, then gives me a nervous smile over his shoulder and follows him toward his dorm.
I feel a little empty, watching them leave, shoulders hiked up and arms brushing like they’re sharing each other’s warmth. The boys are laughing all around me as we head down the hill, but none of them are laughing with me. Even if I can call some of them my friends now, I don’t have anything like they do.
I stand in the middle of our room for a few minutes once I get back there, taking in the quiet. I don’t like it. Even when Dorian’s here, silently doing homework while I work on my own, at least I know I have someone else around.
He doesn’t come back before I go to bed, and I wake up the next morning with a jerk, Barbie flicking my ear.
“You’re drooling, Terzo,” he says.
I grumble, wiping a hand across my mouth only for it to come back dry. I glare at him as he collapses onto Dorian’s bed, pressed up close to the wall with his back to the room. I rub sleep from my eyes and check the time on my phone. Seven a.m.
“We didn’t sleep,” Dorian mutters, standing nearby.
“You okay?” I whisper.
Dorian lets out a long, slow breath, looking back at Barbie over his shoulder. “Not really. But I will be.”
I nod and leave to take a shower. When I come back to the room, Dorian’s asleep, too, curled up with his knees and forehead pressed against Barbie’s back. I get ready for class as quietly as possible so I don’t wake them.
THIRTEEN
The latest NHL Mock Draft has Cauler going first.
I’m not gonna let it bother me. We still got seven months till the draft; it’s all speculation at this point.
But then YouTube has to go and recommend a video called “Unpopular Opinion Re: NHL Draft.” It’s from this hockey vlogger named Rhys Sarnac who prides himself on being a fan of hockey in general and not just one team. He’s got a hat for each NHL team hanging on the wall behind him in every video and a closet full of jerseys of all colors. Except ever since Seattle came into the league, he’s been buying more and more of their merch and showing hints of the homer bias he always rags on other vloggers for. He also makes a point of talking me down. Like it’s too mainstream to think I’m good or something, I don’t know.
I subscribe to him anyway, because I enjoy suffering.
Today, he’s wearing a Canucks hat and Blue Jackets jersey. He starts the video talking about the latest draft rankings, how he agrees with just about everything except the order of the top three.
“I know I’m gonna get plenty of hate for this,” he says. “But people are not paying enough attention to Alex Nakamoto. The guy had 161 points in sixty-eight games last season and is on track to beat that this season. In fact, he’s on track to overtake the OHL single season point record Doug Gilmour’s held since 1983. He’s got Jaysen Caulfield’s size and Mickey James’s hands, and the only reason he’s number three is because everyone is so obsessed with this rivalry they’ve got going on over at Hartland University.”
I lean back on my pillows and prop my laptop up on my knees. This is gonna be a good one.
“This is the NHL we’re talking about here,” Rhys reminds his viewers. “It’s not some reality TV show. There’s no such thing as family legacies in hockey. A guy doesn’t get to come into the league on his daddy’s coattails.” He holds his hands up and bows his head slightly like he’s already trying to calm the comment section. “I understand James is a good player. But he’s not top-pick material. His size might not have been too much of a problem in lower-level hockey, but no one’s coming into the Show at five foot five and making a lasting impact. Hockey is too physical. It’s one of the most brutal sports on the planet. There are times when someone’s coming up on James and I have to look away ’cause I’m afraid I’m about to witness a fatal injury, I’m just saying. I know it’s beyond his control, but still.”
Okay, so this was supposed to be a video about Alex Nakamoto and it’s become yet another roast session. He spends four whole minutes trash-talking me before finally getting to the point. “Nakamoto should be a contender for top pick, but I’d be okay with him taking second as long as it was to Caulfield and not James. He’s getting the shaft because people want some kind of fairy-tale story.”