Delilah searches the crowd like me, but she’s got the height advantage. “Where’s this Alex Nakamoto guy? I want some words with him.”
“Leave the poor kid alone,” Bailey says. “Not his fault he had a popularity surge.”
“Um, yes it is?”
I need to sit down.
“Excuse me, Mr. James?” We all look over as a man with an all-access lanyard steps up to us, eyes on me. “NHL Network wants a word with you.”
“Sure.” I follow him off to the side, where another guy’s being interviewed by TSN a few feet away from Hugh and Alyssa. I’m kinda prepared for them, at least. During the Combine, Cauler and I tried to come up with a bunch of questions we figured they’d ask us and planned out our answers.
I stand with them in front of a backdrop with the NHL Network logo blown up in the center and share a few laughs about the criticism they had for me throughout the season before Alyssa says, “There’s been a lot of talk about your improvement with the Royals, mostly where it came from. Last summer most of the talk was that you’d hit your amateur peak and the only way for you to improve would be to play at a higher level. Where do you think it came from?”
I told myself I would be completely honest if they asked me something like this. I’ve been practicing my answer in my head for weeks. But now that it’s finally time to say it, it takes all my power to keep my voice from shaking.
“Well, a lot of it has to do with the guys I shared ice with,” I start. “It’s hard to be on a line with Luca Cicero and Jaysen Caulfield and stay stagnant as a player. They’d never let that happen, they’re all about continuous improvement. And then just the Royals as a whole, they’re such an amazing group of guys. I got along with them off the ice great, which makes it a lot easier to mesh well on the ice.” I swallow against the nervous lump in my throat. My voice is just a little strained when I add, “But I think the biggest factor was me getting a handle on my own mental health. I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and once I got on medication and started seeing a therapist, I was able to put so much more energy and passion into hockey. I was able to start liking it again, not just seeing it as something I had to do.”
Over the cameraman’s shoulder, I see Dad smiling crookedly. Mom with her hands clasped in front of her mouth, but her smile still present in her eyes. My sisters, minus Mikayla, watching on with pride.
To their credit, Hugh and Alyssa only look mildly surprised. “What would you say to other players going through similar circumstances?” Hugh asks.
“Honestly, don’t be ashamed. A lot more people deal with it than you think, and the best way to cope is to acknowledge it and ask for help. Don’t suffer alone.”
They move on to more hockey questions, my performance in the Combine, and then another big one. “This is probably one of the more unpredictable drafts we’ve had in recent memory,” Alyssa says. “Most analysts are sure the order of the top three is going to ride on what you intend to do next season. After you won an NCAA Championship with the Royals, there was a lot of speculation on if you’d choose to stick it out in college for another few years. What’s the plan?”
“If I’m offered a contract, I’m taking it,” I say. No hesitation. “I’m privileged enough I don’t need that full ride, so I’m gonna take online classes and do my field work in the summer and open up a roster spot and scholarship for another player who needs it. I’ll miss the guys, I’ll miss Hartland, but I want as many other people to have the opportunity to experience that place and that team as possible.”
Alyssa’s wide-eyed, like she has to change everything she’s ever thought about me after a single interview. By the time it’s done, my family and I have to practically race to our seats, and I didn’t get a chance to see Cauler first.
It’s not hard to spot the Royals, a mass of purple along the rail in the three hundred level. Dorian and Zero and Kovy are on their feet, dancing along with the club-like music and laser lights like they’re at a rave. Nova and Barbie are next to each other taking a selfie that shows up on my phone a minute later, them making kissy faces surrounded by heart emojis. Jade, Sid, and Karim sit behind them.
I scan the crowd of prospects and their families, looking for Cauler, but I don’t see him.
Mickey: Where are youuuuuu
Jaysen: 105 fifth row up
Sorry got pulled into too many interviews
I find him a second later, sitting with his mom and dad and Shae. He waves at me from across the floor packed with management from all thirty-two teams and I wave back, maybe a little too enthusiastically.