Home > Books > If I Were You (Inside Out #1)(112)

If I Were You (Inside Out #1)(112)

Author:Lynn Austin

“Yes, of course.” She could hang on to her love for him awhile longer. “Does Robert know about us?”

Louis shook his head. “Does Audrey?”

“I haven’t told a soul.”

“Eve, I don’t know if I’ll have a chance to see you again before I leave, but—”

It was all they were able to say before Robert emerged from Audrey’s room, looking at his watch. “We need to go. Some way to start a marriage, huh?”

“There will be happier days ahead,” Eve said. She didn’t really believe it.

Two days later, Audrey was discharged to recuperate at Wellingford with her new husband before he was deployed to France. The servants moved Audrey’s belongings into the small sitting room on the first floor and converted it into a bedroom.

Eve spent the remainder of her furlough visiting with Audrey while Robert was at the air base and eating the meals that Tildy prepared from their meager rations. “This is a gourmet meal compared to what we’re used to,” Eve assured the cook.

When the notice of her reassignment arrived in the post, Eve found Audrey alone in her room, hobbling around on crutches to practice walking. “I’m going away tomorrow, Audrey. My leave is over.” She waved the letter from the ATS. “I’ll be a staff driver, taking the brass all over London and waiting endlessly for them to finish their important meetings.”

Audrey limped to the edge of the bed and sat down. From her worried expression, Eve might have been assigned to a war zone. But hadn’t London been a war zone for the past five years? “Oh, Eve! The V-1s are falling on London day and night,” Audrey said.

“They can strike anywhere, Audrey. You should know that better than anyone. But with any luck, once I’m in London, navigating around all the craters and barricades and closed streets, I’ll be too busy to worry about Alfie.” Or to think about Louis.

“It’s going to be quiet around here. Robert ships out in two days.”

“Is Louis leaving, too?” Eve’s heart plummeted when Audrey nodded. “I guess we won’t be dance partners for a while.” She remembered Louis’s premonition and wondered if she would ever see him again.

“Eve, I’m so terrified for Robert!”

“He’ll come back to you. You’ll see.”

Audrey nodded, but neither of them believed it.

“I need to go pack,” Eve said.

“Wait. Will you help me do something first?”

“Of course. What is it?”

“Drive me into the village. I want to go to church and pray for you and Robert and Alfie.”

Eve battled to control her temper. She wanted to ask Audrey where God had been for the past five years and why she thought He would start answering her prayers now. Instead, she tried to make light of it to hide her irritation. “I’m pretty sure God can hear your prayers right here, Audrey.” If He’s even listening.

“I feel closer to Him in that little church.”

Eve lost the battle as her anger exploded. “And the people in Guards’ Chapel probably felt very close to Him before the V-1 fell through the roof and killed them all!”

Audrey appeared startled, as though Eve had slapped her. Then she looked down at her lap. “Never mind. I’ll find another ride.”

“I’m sorry,” Eve mumbled. “I’ll drive you. I don’t want to leave here with hard feelings between us. . . . But please don’t expect me to go inside with you.”

Audrey looked up at her again. “I don’t understand. I always envied your faith. You went to church with your grandmother when you were growing up. You used to talk about the Good Shepherd and how He would always take care of you. What happened to your faith, Eve?”

“What happened? It got buried in the rubble of the town house along with our mothers! My faith was stolen from me by the Nazis—along with Alfie and my youth and all of my hopes and dreams! The bombs blasted it away when they took my friend Iris and her grandmother and thousands of other innocent people! The same bombs that nearly took you!” She clenched her fists, breathing hard as the bitter words spewed out. “God demolished my faith when war took my mum just like it took my daddy. He blasted a huge gulf between us when He abandoned me and left me alone, without even a place to call home!” And now she had widened the gulf when she’d slept with a married man.

“I . . . I don’t know what to say . . .”

“I’m glad you still have faith, Audrey. And I’m glad that you and Robert found each other. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful life together in America when the war ends, far away from the ruins of England and all the reminders of what we’ve lost.”