“Eve . . . please . . .” Audrey groped for her crutches and struggled to stand. Eve knew she would try to embrace her, but pity was the last thing Eve wanted.
She turned toward the door. “I’ll bring the car around front and meet you outside.” Eve would visit the cemetery while Audrey prayed. Take a walk in the woods. Have a pint at the pub. She would not go inside the church.
Eve was still fuming over Audrey’s naive faith as she lay in bed that night, staring into the darkness. It was useless to try to sleep. She rose and parted the blackout curtains, hoping there would be a moon and stars so she could see the distant woods. But the sky was overcast, the woods buried beneath a mist of fog. She let the curtains fall back into place. It seemed appropriate that from the very beginning of the war, every home and building in the nation had been shrouded in black as if prepared for mourning. Eve couldn’t think of a single person she knew who hadn’t lost someone in this endless war.
She was about to climb back into bed when there was a knock on her door. Her heart sank, fearing it was Audrey. She didn’t want to see her, unable to bear a prolonged goodbye with her friend. Eve held her breath, hoping Audrey would think she was asleep and go away. The knock came a second time, louder. Then a man’s voice. “Eve . . . ?”
Louis.
She opened the door. Louis stood in the narrow hallway, nervously shifting his feet. His face looked ashen. His expression sent a jolt of fear through her. She pulled him into the room. “Louis, what is it? What’s wrong?”
“Audrey wanted to be the one to tell you but I told her I would do it.”
“Tell me what? What happened?”
“A telegram arrived—”
“What? Is it Alfie? Not Alfie!” Her heart nearly burst with fear. She couldn’t bear another loss. Eve grabbed the front of Louis’s uniform to shake the news out of him. “Don’t take so long to say it, Louis. Just tell me! Tell me!”
“Alfie is missing in action. There was a battle, and the Nazis took prisoners. Right now, he’s believed to be among them.”
“So he isn’t dead?”
“He wasn’t identified among the dead or the wounded. The Red Cross requested a list of prisoners. We’ll pray that Alfie is on it.” She released her hold on his shirt and stepped back, then swayed as a wave of vertigo washed over her. Louis grabbed her and walked her backward to sit on the edge of the bed. “Are you all right?”
She shook her head. This was all her fault for betraying Alfie. She had slept with Louis after refusing to sleep with Alfie. If he was dead, if he could look down on her from heaven, he would know that she hadn’t really loved him. That she loved Louis more. But then Alfie had loved his father’s money more than her. She looked up at Louis, and the shock of her love for him, the power of it, overwhelmed her. But Louis wasn’t hers to love.
She tried to stand. “I should go to Audrey. She’ll need me.”
Louis made her stay seated. He sat down on the bed beside her, pulling her into his arms. “Bob is with her. She’s hanging on to him—and to hope. You can’t lose hope, Eve.”
She closed her eyes. Why hope for something she could never have? Whether Alfie lived or died, he would never be hers. And neither would Louis. “I loved Alfie . . . ,” she said as her tears came. She pulled away and looked into Louis’s eyes. “But I’m in love with you. And you’re going into battle. You’ll be in danger and . . . and I can’t bear to lose you, too!”
Neither of them said a word as they yielded to each other’s arms.
22
LONDON, MAY 1945
The commotion in the streets below Audrey’s window grew louder and more joyous by the minute, but she sat by the radio in her tiny flat, afraid of missing the latest news. Especially if it concerned places where Robert and Alfie were. Victory in Europe would be officially proclaimed today—May 8. VE Day. Victory in Europe. The Nazis were defeated. Thousands of Londoners had started celebrating last night in anticipation. Today, the revelry exploded.
Ever since Robert left last fall, Audrey had remained glued to the radio whenever she wasn’t working, anxious for news of the war. The Allies achieved stunning victories and suffered bitter defeats throughout the long winter, keeping her permanently on edge. After the plaster cast came off her leg, Audrey returned to work as a dispatcher in London to be near Eve. “Why didn’t you apply for an easier posting?” Eve had asked. “The Nazis are firing V-2 rockets on London now, and they’re even deadlier than the V-1 that nearly killed you.”