Home > Books > If I Were You (Inside Out #1)(116)

If I Were You (Inside Out #1)(116)

Author:Lynn Austin

“I don’t feel right about ending things with Linda from a distance—even though I sent dozens of letters beforehand explaining my decision. I need to see her face-to-face and apologize if I hurt her. I need to ask her to forgive me.”

“That’s kind of you, Robert. You have such a tender heart.” And so different from the other people in Audrey’s family. She would need to learn from him and try to forgive her parents for the ways they’d hurt her. “No one in my family ever talked about their feelings,” she said. “Feelings were kept behind closed doors, tightly locked and sealed. It’s going to be very different to be able to share them.”

“We’ll both begin again and make a new life together. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I’ve decided to go to Yale Law School after all. I think I would make a good lawyer—but not a cutthroat one. A lawyer who works for good causes. And I won’t let it consume my life the way my father and grandfather did. We’ll live modestly.”

“I would like to study nursing and become a proper one, someday.”

“You have my full support, darling.” He lifted her hand and kissed it. “Whatever we do, we won’t let other people pile their expectations on us. The only ones worth living up to are the ones in the Bible.” Robert turned to face her. “When we joined the military, we made a commitment to serve a common mission, the cause of freedom. We followed commands and surrendered our lives and our decision-making to those in charge. We went willingly into battle, prepared to give our lives, if necessary. And you nearly did lose yours.”

“Eve saved my life. I’ll always owe her for that.”

“As will I!” He leaned close and kissed her forehead. “Now I want to make the same commitment to serving God. For the rest of our lives, we can use the discipline we learned as soldiers, and the lessons we learned while fighting the war, to lay aside our own comfort and follow His commands. The fight against evil is far from over.”

“That’s true. I know people who still need to be set free.” Audrey thought of her father. And Eve, who remained bitter toward God. “We’ll figure it out together,” she said, moving into his arms. “For the rest of our lives, we’ll always have each other.”

Eve didn’t dare to embrace Louis when he got off the train at Victoria Station. Not with Audrey and Robert and the other GIs standing around on the platform. Everyone knew Louis was married. When Eve dared a glimpse of him, he was gazing at her. The tears of joy in his eyes matched her own. “Where are you headed, soldier?” she asked, smiling up at him.

He grinned. “I don’t know. I’m new to this city. What do you recommend?”

“Are you hungry? There’s a great fish and chips place not far from here.” Audrey and Robert left for their hotel, and after some discussion, three of Louis’s mates joined him and Eve for fish and chips. They all sat together, laughing and eating the greasy food, while Eve tried to pretend that she didn’t love Louis, that she wasn’t dying inside. “So where will you head next?” she asked.

“We’re being discharged,” one of the men replied. “We’re heading home.”

Home. Whenever Eve heard that word, no picture came to mind. Not Granny Maud’s cottage. Not her room on Wellingford’s third floor. She couldn’t call the countless boardinghouses and dormitories and hotels where she’d lived these past few years home. Even the tiny flat she now shared with Audrey wasn’t truly a home, but a temporary rental until her service with the ATS ended. And then what? “I’m happy for all of you,” she said, summoning a smile. “I imagine you’ll be glad to be home.”

Louis lingered behind when the others finished their food and prepared to leave. “I’m walking Eve to her subway station,” he told them. “I need to keep her safe from roving Americans like you. I’ll catch up with you later.” Eve ached with love and longing as Louis walked to Sloane Square Station with her. “I’m probably the only GI who’s not happy about going home,” he said. “It means I’ll be leaving you. And I don’t want to say goodbye.”

Eve took his hand and silently led him down the steps to the Underground. They rode to her stop, got off together, and she led him up the stairs to her flat. Audrey would be away for three days. “It’s very tiny,” she said when they were inside, “and not very fancy—”