“Me, too.” Eve stared at the stone wall across from her like a prisoner in a cell.
Later that afternoon as they rode home on the Underground, Eve turned to Audrey as they sat side by side in the swaying train car. “I thought Robert said it would take months for all your paperwork to go through.”
“He did. The government’s first priority is getting the soldiers home from around the world. It may take as much as a year for them to send for the war brides.”
“So what’s your hurry? Why quit and leave London? What will you do with yourself at Wellingford while you wait?”
“The Americans left the manor in a bit of a mess, as I’m sure you know. I need to unpack all the items that were stored and take down the blackout curtains. With Father still away so much of the time, he’ll need help restoring Wellingford to its former glory. The few servants who are left could do with some supervision and direction.”
“Will your father live there all alone after you leave for America?”
“I’m not sure . . . Maybe . . . Wellingford holds so many good memories of Alfie.” The train slowed, approaching a station. The doors rasped open and people hurried off. More crowded on. The doors closed and the train started up again. “Father and I have never been close. But all we have left now is each other. And I would like to think . . . well, it’s my hope that we can be a comfort to each other in these last months before I leave. Perhaps if I help restore Wellingford and make it a home . . . if he sees how much it means to both of us . . .” She stopped, having no idea what she hoped for. Affection, perhaps? Was it fair to try to build a relationship with him and then leave for America? Audrey had never experienced love before meeting Robert, and she wondered if her father ever had. Aside from his pride in Alfie, he’d never shown love to anyone that she could recall.
They got off at their stop and rode the escalator up to the street. People crowded the sidewalks, all hurrying home from work. Eve didn’t speak again until they reached their flat. “We should have stopped at the store,” she said after opening their pantry. “There’s nothing to eat.”
“I haven’t felt very hungry lately,” Audrey said, resting her hand on her middle.
“When is your baby due?”
“June, I think.” Eve merely nodded. She seemed preoccupied. And despondent. Audrey sat down at their tiny table and watched her rummage through tins of soup and canned peaches, wishing she knew what to say, how to help her. “You never talk about your plans after you leave the ATS, Eve.”
“That’s because I don’t have any. Unlike you, I don’t have a husband or even a boyfriend. This flat is the only home I have. And not to sound too tiresome, I don’t have a family, either. Your father may be distant, but at least you have one.”
“Listen, Eve—”
“Whatever you’re about to say, don’t. The last thing I need is your pity. I’ll figure something out.” She left the tins on the counter and fetched her coat from the hook by the door, shoving her arms into the sleeves.
“Where are you going?”
“To the park. I do my best thinking when I’m around trees.”
“Shall I come with you?”
“Please don’t. It’s time we got used to being apart. There’s going to be an entire ocean between us before long.” The lock clicked as the door closed.
Audrey worried that she’d made a mistake in deciding to go home to Wellingford so abruptly. With thoughts of Robert and the baby occupying her mind, it hadn’t occurred to her that Eve would be left all alone. Yet Eve made friends so quickly. She always had. Dozens of girls from the ATS would love to share this tiny furnished flat with her. Besides, it was too late—Audrey had given her notice at work. She glanced around the room, deciding what to pack, already homesick for Wellingford Hall.
Eve’s trousers were growing tight around the waist when she learned in late January that her job was ending. She would be let go on the first of February. Her boss promised sterling references, but what chance did Eve have of being hired as a typist once the bump in her middle gave away her secret? Still, she had felt the first fluttering of life and didn’t regret her decision to let her baby live.
All around her, Londoners picked up the pieces of their lives and rebuilt from the rubble of war, marrying sweethearts, starting new jobs, repairing damaged homes. She must do the same, even though she felt scoured to the bone, stripped of everyone and everything that might provide a foundation to build upon. She had tried to formulate a plan while riding back and forth to work on the Underground every day, but without success. She had walked for miles through St. James’s Park and nearby Green Park—the sheep were gone now that the war was over—trying to decide what to do. In the end, the only person she could turn to for help was Audrey. That meant returning to Wellingford Hall. Eve would go there and beg for a job, not for her own sake, but for her child’s. Her baby was the only family she had left, the only link to the people she loved—to Mum and Granny Maud. And to Louis. Eve cleared off her desk on the final day of work, packed everything she owned, which wasn’t much, and rode the train to Wellingford.