Eve was alone. And yet . . . a smile spread across her face when she realized that she was free. Free from the stigma of her past as a servant. Her lack of education, her affair with a married man, her son’s illegitimate birth were all forgotten. She was Audrey Clarkson Barrett, wife of the late Robert Barrett. Her son could grow up feeling proud of the father he would never meet, just as Eve had. The ship’s horn sounded a long, low note. Then another. She and Harry would sail toward a new beginning, a promising future.
The ocean voyage proved calm and uneventful—no violent storms, no bouts of seasickness, no delays. Eve kept to herself and didn’t mingle with the other brides, worried she would make a mistake and give herself away. The others chatted about their new lives in America, wondering what it would be like, anxious about meeting their in-laws, nervous about seeing their husbands again after so many months apart. Eve shared their fears but for entirely different reasons. Surely Robert’s parents had seen a photograph of Audrey. Would they know she was a fraud the moment they saw her? Her biggest fear was for Harry—what would happen to him if she was discovered and arrested?
Eve was so nervous as the ship sailed into New York Harbor that she had to stay belowdecks, her stomach turning itself inside out with vomiting. Harry sensed her fear and became colicky, refusing to nurse. It seemed to take hours for the regular passengers to disembark. The brides who had families meeting them would be next. The Barretts had sent a telegram saying they would be waiting for her. When the time came, she rinsed her mouth and brushed her hair and pulled her hat low to help hide her face. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw a pale, frightened woman she didn’t recognize. She pinched her cheeks to try to restore some color. It didn’t help.
Harry squirmed in her arms, fussing, as Eve waited on deck for Audrey’s name to be called. She wore her very best suit and hat, but they weren’t the fine quality of Audrey’s clothing. Was that another mistake people would spot? Eve wished she had thought to polish her scuffed shoes before leaving Wellingford.
“Mrs. Robert Barrett . . . Robert Clarkson Barrett . . .”
Eve’s chest ached from her wildly pounding heart. She felt so weak and dizzy after being sick that she wasn’t sure she could make it down the gangplank. A well-dressed couple with Robert’s dark hair waited on the dock. This was the final test. If they had Audrey’s picture, they would know at once that Eve was an impostor. Her eyes filled with tears as she approached. But then the couple hurried toward her. Mrs. Barrett had tears in her eyes, as well.
“Audrey? . . . Is it really you?” she asked. Eve could only nod. She feared she would be sick again as the Barretts studied her for a long moment. The pier seemed to sway, her legs unaccustomed to dry land.
Then Mr. Barrett gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Welcome, my dear. Robert told us you were a tiny little thing, and you surely are.”
Mrs. Barrett hesitated as if still unsure. Eve shifted Harry to her other hip as he continued to fuss, his cries growing louder. At last, Mrs. Barrett stepped forward. “Will you come to Nana, darling?” she asked, reaching for him. Miraculously, Harry stopped fussing and went into her welcoming arms. “Oh, my darling boy! What a long ordeal you’ve had!” She kissed his forehead, hugged him, and kissed him again. Harry smiled his charming grin.
“Come, let’s get both of you home where you belong,” Mr. Barrett said.
Home. The floodgates opened for Eve at the mention of what she longed for the most. She couldn’t hold back her tears. Mr. Barrett smiled as he pulled a handkerchief from his breast pocket and handed it to her. “Thank you for coming, Audrey. It means so much to have you and Robert’s son with us.”
For Audrey, the days felt as fragile as dry leaves. At times, caring for her son was life-giving, and she bundled him up for walks around Wellingford’s spacious grounds. Other days, the slightest brush of a memory caused her composure to crumble into dust, and the hired nurse would take over Bobby’s care. Today was one of those days. Audrey sat alone at her desk, rereading Robert’s letters, imagining that he was alive and that she would go to him soon. Yet she found comfort here in Wellingford Hall. It was where she and Robert fell in love. Where they first kissed. She could close her eyes and cling to his memory.
Every once in a while, the dry leaves of her life would stir up memories of the war years, and as she relived those experiences, it seemed as though she’d merely read a book about a woman who once drove an ambulance into scenes of unimaginable horror. Audrey was no longer that person. She tried to banish those memories each time they reappeared and struggled to figure out who she was now. Those memories also featured Eve and raised her lingering anger over Eve’s desertion. Yet she was glad that Eve was gone. She would accuse Audrey of going through the motions of living without really living at all. And she would be right.