He was able to buy the option for the screenplay, and began putting together a cast. The project moved quickly, and was scheduled to begin shooting in August. Antonia kept busy writing until then. Jake had just gotten a small part in a Broadway play, and she was excited for him too.
She worked with her drama coach again to prepare for the part, and put a great deal of thought and historical research into it. She was enjoying acting more than she had thought she would, and her writing meant a great deal to her too.
* * *
—
By the time they began shooting the film at a chateau in France in the countryside, Antonia knew the main character like her own heart and soul, and Hamish and the other characters brought out a depth of feeling that she didn’t know was in her. Only Hamish wasn’t surprised. He still said that she was a born actress with a special gift.
And when Jake’s play folded in September after a short run, he flew over for a few days to visit and watch her on the set. He was enormously impressed too, and when they ate a dinner of bread and cheese and paté one night, while Hamish was checking the dailies, he questioned her about the direction her career was taking. She had been so adamant about not being an actress and now it was the whole thrust of her work.
“Do you do it for you, or for him?” he asked her after a glass of wine. He was disappointed about his play, but happy for her. Her career was taking off like lightning, in part because of Hamish and the opportunities he created for her.
She thought about it before she answered. She was always honest with him, and tried to be with herself. “For both. But mostly for him. It means so much to him. I’m still writing, and I’ll do a screenplay one day. And I do love the roles he finds for me. He says I’ll write better and be a better director if I’ve done some acting first.”
“You can’t just do what he wants, though, no matter how good he is to you,” and there was no denying that. “You have to follow what you want too,” Jake reminded her.
“I do, and I will, but the acting is working for now. It probably won’t be forever.”
“It might be, if you’re good at it, and have some big hits. You won’t be able to get out of it then.”
“I’m not his prisoner,” she corrected him. “I’m doing it willingly. And it’s fun.”
“Don’t give up your writing!” he scolded her.
“I won’t,” she promised.
“Have you heard from your father?” He was almost afraid to ask. She’d been in England for fifteen months by then.
“No, and I won’t,” she said simply. “He’s written me off. He won’t back down. He never does. And I think he waited years to ‘divorce’ me, like he did my mother. He can’t tell us apart, especially now that I’m acting.” She seemed at peace about it. “I actually don’t miss him. Hamish is almost like a father to me at times.” Jake looked worried when she said that.
“You don’t need a father anymore, Antonia. All you need is yourself.”
“He’s a father, a partner, a lover, a teacher. There are a lot of facets to him and our relationship.” She smiled at Jake, and he could see how happy she was. He hadn’t found anything like it yet himself, and so far, all his romantic relationships had been short-term. For now, his career came first, which every one of his girlfriends had objected to.
“Maybe you’re right. God knows, I haven’t gotten that part of my life right yet. I went out with two gorgeous young actresses during my brief disastrous Broadway run. One turned out to be sleeping with half the cast and I didn’t know it. Possibly the entire cast. And the other one had a girlfriend she was madly in love with, and she only went out with me to see if she still liked men, and realized she didn’t. I think I need some nice girl from the Midwest with a normal job. Actresses are too complicated for me.” He smiled ruefully and she laughed.
“Hamish saved me from all the creeps I kept meeting, like Jeff in L.A., and all the narcissistic young actors who are madly in love with themselves.” Hamish adored her and she loved him, and their relationship was passionate and worked for both of them. Jake was still too young to find a serious woman and settle down. She couldn’t see him marrying for years. Hamish was older, which was different.
He joined them when he came back from seeing the dailies. He told her how great her performance had been that day. Jake had seen it in person and agreed. Hamish poured himself a glass of wine, and another for Jake, and eventually she went to bed and left them to each other. Hamish was advising him on his career and which producers to avoid. She loved that they got along.