Jake stayed after that for a few more days, and noticed how attentive everyone was to Antonia. They were treating her like a star, she was learning her trade with great thought and preparation, and he thought Hamish was right and she would be a big star one day. He said it to Antonia that night.
“Ugh, don’t talk to me about it. I hate it when they fuss over me on the set. It makes me feel like a fraud. I’m not a big star, not yet. I haven’t earned it. Hamish has opened some doors for me, now I need to prove I’m worthy of it, but bowing and scraping and kissing my ass,” she said bluntly, which Jake loved about her, “doesn’t make it true. I have to earn it or it isn’t worth a damn. I hate that anyway. I’m a normal person. I want to be treated like one.”
“You’re in the wrong business for that. It’s all about being a star. Or pretending to be one, if you aren’t.”
“It’s all fraudulent,” she said. “That’s why I like the other side of the camera better. It’s real. From that side, you’re looking out at the world. From the other side, the world is looking at you. I hate that,” she said with feeling, and he knew it was true. She hated being the center of attention.
“Still hiding and trying to be invisible?”
She hesitated and then nodded.
“I’ll probably always try to be invisible,” she said honestly. “It’s who I am. You can hide in the characters you play as an actor or actress, but when you’re invisible, no one can see you at all.”
“You’re too wonderful to hide,” he said gently.
“Sometimes all the attention is just too much. I’m not good at it. If I didn’t have Hamish to hide behind, I’d be miserable.”
They spent some really nice moments together before he left. They could say anything to each other, and she was sad to see him leave. Hamish took her out to dinner that night, to cheer her up, and they had a fun evening at a small lively local neighborhood bistro in the village next to the chateau. They both loved France, and Hamish spoke fluent French, which made it easier.
They were sorry when the shoot moved back to London to a studio, and they wrapped a few days before Christmas. They were tired, and really happy with how the film had gone. It had been a great part for Antonia, and she had played it well.
They had thought about going somewhere for Christmas, but decided to spend it lounging around at home, and celebrated their first anniversary on Christmas Eve, and went to a friend’s party on Christmas Day. They lay in bed afterward and Antonia smiled at him.
“I have a present for you,” she whispered, teasing him.
“Where is it?” He felt under her pillow, and there was nothing there. She giggled at him, and he grinned. “Where did you hide it?”
“You have to find it,” she said, and he started to get out of bed, and she pulled him back. “It’s here in the bed.” He looked under the covers and saw nothing, and then she gently took his hand, and put it on her belly, and he could feel the slightest roundness swelling under his hand, and looked at her in amazement.
“Oh my God! Antonia! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to worry about me while we were shooting. I’ve been feeling fine. But my corsets have been getting damn tight for the last few weeks.” He pulled her close to him and held her. She was sharing miracles with him that he hadn’t even hoped for. Marriage to her had been like a fairy tale, and now they were having a baby. He had given up the idea of children years before, although when he married Antonia, at her age, he thought it might happen, but they hadn’t talked much about it. They had so much going on, from one film to the next.
“When is it for?”
“June,” she answered, as he gently ran his hand over her belly again.
“Oh my God,” he said, thunderstruck by the news. “Can we tell people yet?”
“I think it’s safe, I’m three months pregnant, and it’s been easy-peasy so far. I haven’t had any problems or felt sick.”
“You’ll probably have it in a field and go right back to work,” he teased her.
“I want to have it at home,” she said simply, and he frowned.
“That sounds risky to me. And I’m not going to deliver a baby. Let’s go to Paris and have it at the Ritz. We can call room service for champagne when it’s born.” He couldn’t believe they were talking about a baby of their own. He couldn’t imagine it yet.