“I’m sorry to bother you,” he said, sounding hesitant. “I wanted to know how Antonia is. I read about her husband. I was very sorry to hear it.” He sounded genuinely sorry, and Lara was surprised. At least he had the decency not to make rude comments.
“She’s about the way you’d expect. She’s in shock, and in terrible shape. They were in the middle of shooting a movie. Hamish was wonderful to her. She’s lost without him. Their son was nearly ten months old when his father died, and she’s expecting another one.”
“That’s awful. She doesn’t deserve that.” He sounded very moved by what Lara said, which surprised her too.
“I’m happy to hear you say it,” Lara said coldly. She would have hung up on him instantly if he made any vicious remarks. She had run out of patience, and had lost all respect for him.
“Is there anyone there with her?” He sounded concerned.
“Not really. Hamish had two brothers, but they live abroad and weren’t close. Antonia hardly knows them, and she has no family either,” she said pointedly. “You’re out of the picture and I went over for as long as I could to help her. She has an agent, who is their friend, who’s been very helpful. He’s been very close to her and Hamish. Otherwise, it’s just employees. She’s going to be very much alone for a while, until the kids get older.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“At this point, I don’t know. Maybe write her a nice letter, just so she knows you have some kind of compassion for her. It’s late in the day for you to show up, after all you said to her.”
“I know I did a lot of damage,” he said remorsefully. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. You were right. I never let go of my anger at Fabienne, and I took it out on Antonia.” She wasn’t sure, but she thought he might be crying.
“Well, at least you realize it.” But it didn’t change how she felt about him now.
“If you think about anything I can do, let me know.”
“You can’t bring her husband back,” Lara said in an icy tone. She was utterly fed up with Brandon.
“I know, and obviously they don’t need money.” Hamish had left her a fortune, which didn’t console her, and a huge inheritance for his children. But at least they weren’t in financial need or starving, to make things even worse.
“I’m glad you’re thinking about her,” Lara said. “A letter might be a good idea, just so she knows you care.”
“I’ll do that. And, Lara, do you suppose I could see you sometime? I have a lot to apologize for to you too.”
“I’ll take your word for it. I don’t think there’s much left to discuss.” She didn’t want to get involved with him again, or listen to him feel sorry for himself.
“I’d just like to see you. I miss you.” She missed him too, once in a while, but not often enough to want to see him again. And what he had done to Antonia, and the way he had treated her, Lara thought was unforgivable. She couldn’t imagine loving him again, or how she ever had. But when she’d married him, she had no idea how disturbed he was, or how cruel he was to his daughter. Looking back, she saw hints of it here and there. But in retrospect, as a whole picture over many years, she saw it clearly, and it was an ugly picture.
“If you ever want to have a drink or a cup of coffee, let me know,” he said sadly, and she hung up a minute later.
* * *
—
Her father’s letter arrived in June, the week of Dash’s first birthday, when Antonia was feeling particularly low. She kept thinking back to a year before, when she and Hamish went through Dash’s birth together, how beautiful it had been, and what it meant to both of them. It had bonded them even closer.
She was startled to see an envelope in her father’s handwriting in her mail. It was marked personal, so Hamish’s assistants hadn’t opened it. They were still working for her. There were so many legal aspects of Hamish’s estate still to deal with. She opened the letter herself, and it was surprisingly warm, telling her how sorry he was about Hamish’s accident, and apologizing to her for how unkind, even cruel, he had been to her at times, without meaning to be. He said he had been blinded for years by his anger at her mother, which had nothing to do with her, and he begged her forgiveness.
He offered his help if there was anything he could do for her now, and he congratulated her on the birth of her son. He had a lot to make up for and catch up on, a birth, a death, and more than twenty years of neglect and abuse. She tried to view it kindly, and put the letter aside to answer when she felt up to it, which wasn’t now. There was no rush. She recognized that it had been nice of him to write to her. She wondered if Lara had told him to write. She suspected she might have. But even if she had, at least he’d done it. Given everything he’d said to her, a year before he would have refused. Hamish’s sudden death had woken him up. But it was too late for Antonia too. She felt nothing for her father.