“I can’t believe you’re letting me stay here.” He smiled at her gratefully. “It’s a lot nicer than my dismal place was in New York.”
“Stay as long as you like, till you find what you’re looking for,” she said generously, smiling at him. It would be nice having him there. He added a touch of warmth and someone intelligent to talk to in her daily life, which she hadn’t had in years and didn’t even realize until now that she had missed. The arrangement suited them both.
“I’ll call you before I come over,” he promised, “and call me at any hour if you need help with Dash.” It was crucial that he didn’t fall and damage the leg again while the bones were setting. “I can run over in a minute.” And she was much too small to help him or keep him from falling, or pick him up if he did.
“Thank you for being here,” she said before she left him to go back to her house. She actually hated to leave him. It was comforting having him there.
“Thank you for having me,” he echoed back to her. “Will you be okay driving back?” He was worried and she smiled. She wasn’t used to having anyone worry about her. No one had in so long. It felt nice, in moderation. She was used to being the person who took care of others, and no one thought about. But he did. It reminded her of Hamish again, although Boden wasn’t a father figure. He was an equal, which was better for the age she was now. She had grown up in the eighteen years since Hamish died. She’d been almost a child then, with two children to raise.
“I think I can manage it.” She smiled at him, referring to the short drive to the house in the snow.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply you couldn’t.” But the road had been slippery getting there, and he worried about her, even if he wasn’t supposed to. She was a perfectly capable woman, and his boss. But he had a kind of well-brought-up gallantry she liked.
They both lingered at the front door, and he walked her to her car, and they stood there with the snow falling before she got into her car. The scene was incredibly beautiful and her large comfortable farmhouse lit up like Christmas loomed invitingly in the distance, with his cheerful little cottage as an extension of it.
“I loved being in South Africa with you. Thank you for letting me go with you,” he said, not knowing what else to say. He couldn’t tell her he had fallen in love with her, she would think he was insane.
“It was nice having you there,” she said softly, and glanced up at him. As their eyes met, words disappeared, and they didn’t need them. It didn’t matter what they said, he pulled her gently toward him and she didn’t resist him, as they kissed standing in the falling snow. Neither of them knew if it was a terrible mistake or what they’d been waiting for, for years, and didn’t know it. But did one ever know? Hamish could have been a mistake, and had turned out to be the biggest blessing of her life, even for such a short time. But she wouldn’t have missed it. And neither Boden nor Antonia could tell where they were headed now. There was no stopping what they felt, and they both knew it. It seemed worth the risk.
“Good night,” he said softly, as she looked up at him and they smiled.
“Thank you,” was all she said, instead of “I love you,” which was suddenly a given they both understood.
He kissed her again, and she got into the car with the snow heavy on her hair and her clothes, and on her eyelashes. She was so beautiful it made him long for her as he looked at her. He didn’t want to frighten her. As brave as she was, he always had the feeling that if he moved too fast, she would run away. She liked to observe, but not be seen.
He stood watching her and waved, as she backed out of his driveway, heading toward her house. He stood there until the car disappeared around a bend.
* * *
—
Boden helped Antonia with Dash until he went back to school in March after spring vacation. Boden hadn’t found a house yet, but she had kept him busy with projects at the studio. They spent countless hours talking, and she let him read some of the projects she was considering. She was working on a new screenplay, which was very powerful. It was the one he liked best, and in June she went to Fred with it, to have him put the production financing together, which didn’t take him long, since it was hers.
Boden had stopped looking for houses by then, and they took long walks on the farm, and rode in the hills together. He seemed to fit into her life perfectly, like a puzzle piece that had been missing. He gave her life depth and color, and on a summer afternoon, when Dash was in New Hampshire with friends, and Olympia was in L.A. rehearsing for a movie she had just been hired for, Antonia and Boden wound up in his cottage, and the inevitable happened. He was the first man she had made love with since Hamish, and the second in her life.