But she felt there was room for him in her life now. There wouldn’t have been before that. But she was ready now, and so was he.
* * *
—
They were discreet for the rest of the summer, while Fred worked on the financing for her new film. Boden was taking on more and more responsibility in the studio, and she consulted him about everything now. Her children were coming home for Labor Day weekend, and she told him to stay in the main house and not move back to the cottage. He had started spending the nights with her sometime in July. It was just easier.
“Do you think they’re ready for that?” Boden asked her about her kids, and she smiled.
“Are we?”
“I think so,” he answered with his arms around her. “I’m not going anywhere, unless you want me to.” She no longer seemed skittish with him, and he no longer had the feeling that she was about to disappear.
“I want you here with me,” she said simply. “They’ll get used to it. They love you too.” She felt lucky when she looked at him every morning. He was a beautiful man, but that wasn’t what tied her to him. She felt safe with him, just as she had with Hamish. Boden let her be herself. He had no ulterior motive, no hidden plan, no agenda for her. He wanted nothing from her.
“I used to want to be invisible,” she confided to him one day, “so no one could hurt me, if they didn’t see me.”
“And now?” he asked her.
“I feel safe most of the time. With you anyway. I suppose there will always be times when I need to disappear. I don’t like people focusing on me.” He knew that about her, and let her come and go as she needed to, like when she was writing and needed time alone.
“You can be invisible any time you want. And I’ll be here when you want to be visible again.”
“I always want to be visible with you.” She smiled at him and he kissed her. “I think you should forget about looking for a house. If my kids survive the weekend, you can move in. And I think they’ll be fine about it.”
She said something to both of them about it that weekend. Dash was thrilled and said he loved him, and Olympia laughed at her.
“Old news, Mom. Do you think we’re both blind? You two have been crazy about each other since last Thanksgiving. I was waiting for you to say something months ago, but you never did.”
“I hadn’t figured it out yet,” Antonia said, looking embarrassed.
“Well, I did. And so did Dash when he went to South Africa with you. Boden’s crazy about you, Mom, and I think he’s very cool.” Antonia had thought that no one had noticed, but the kids were onto them, maybe even before they were themselves.
“I guess I’m not as invisible as I like to think,” she said to Boden when he came home from the studio, and he laughed at her.
“You’ve got smart kids,” he said as he kissed her.
He stayed in her bedroom that night, with the kids in the house, and moved his things in the following week. It was as though he had always been there. He was the assistant director on her next movie, and the films she made afterward. She still disappeared when she needed to, into herself, but she was never invisible to him.
Chapter 19
The catering trucks began arriving at noon. They were giving the biggest party Antonia had ever given at the farm. It was a combined celebration of Dash’s graduation from veterinary school and Antonia’s fiftieth birthday. She and Boden had just made their twentieth film together, and had been together for six years.
Olympia’s acting career was booming, and she was in constant demand, with Fred representing her. She was a big name now. And Dash was going to Africa to work on an important rescue project for leopards and cheetahs. If it worked out, he would be spending six months a year there for the next three years.
The guests had been invited for seven o’clock, and the children had added more names to the list. There were two hundred and twenty people on the grounds around the farmhouse by eight o’clock, and two enormous cakes burning with candles were presented after dinner. There was a lively country band Olympia had picked that had a current single in the top ten. She was dating the lead singer, a stunningly handsome English boy. Lara was there and brought the man she had been living with for five years. Brandon had stayed in Palm Beach. He was eighty-three and housebound now, which Antonia knew when she invited him. She didn’t really want him there. She and the children hadn’t seen him in several years.
Boden’s brothers and their wives had come from Montana, but his parents were on a cruise again and sent their regrets. They were older than Antonia’s father and traveled all the time. Jake was in San Francisco and sent his love.