I know she’s thinking of the others. Of Matilde and Jemima and Una.
‘And they’ve all gone too. All gone. Like her. Like my Viola.’ She touches my cheek again. ‘You won’t go, will you? You won’t leave me too? Promise.’
How can I promise such a thing when I never stick at a job for long? I’ll get bored. I’ve already had a stab at many different careers – nursing, dog-walking, secretary, now a carer. I know my flaws. But Elspeth looks so sad, so desperate, that I find myself promising to stay. For as long as she needs me.
I sit with her until she falls asleep and then I get up slowly, so as not to wake her. That’s when I notice something on the floor: a piece of crumpled fabric. In the shadows it looks like the blanket Arlo used to take to bed with him when he was a kid. I bend over and pick it up and that’s when I see it’s a woman’s T-shirt in rose pink with a glittery star on the front. Much too small and trendy to be either Kathryn’s or Elspeth’s. I hide it under my pyjama top and creep out of the room.
33
The Cuckoo, 1984
It was March when Katy found the kitten.
She was walking home from school, alone as always. Viola had gone off with her horrible mates. Elspeth had given up asking Viola to accompany Katy. It worried Katy, who lived with the gut-wrenching fear that she’d be sent back to the home.
She tried not to think about it as she ambled along the Downs, kicking through the long grass, dew soaking her knee-high white socks with the pale blue turnovers. She still couldn’t get used to the smart uniform. She even had to wear a blazer and a kilt. It made her feel like she was in Malory Towers, although she hated most of the girls at the all-girls school. Only one had bothered to befriend her. Mandy was as much of an outcast as she was, with her limp hair and thick NHS glasses. She was a scholarship kid, which meant her school fees were paid for her because she was clever but her family were poor. Katy had been to Mandy’s house. It was like the one she’d lived in with her mum, but Mandy’s mum and sister were lovely and welcoming, and the house was cosy and warm. Katy loved going around there, although she knew Elspeth didn’t really approve. Elspeth would rather she was friends with one of the more ‘prosperous’ families, like that brat Cass’s – she was in Viola’s year. Katy was thankful for Mandy. She felt she could cope as long as her friend was by her side.
As she approached the road she heard mewing. She stopped, straining her ears over the sound of traffic. She could definitely hear something. She parted the grass, surprised and delighted when she saw a tiny kitten nestled among the long blades. He was black with white paws and a pink nose. At first she thought he was hurt but then she decided he was just lost. She scooped him up, and as he looked at her, from his little fluffy face, her heart melted.
Katy carried him the rest of the way home, hoping she’d be allowed to keep him. He nestled his head against the crook of her arm and it was so natural she already felt they had a special bond.
‘What have you got there?’ exclaimed Elspeth, as Katy bounded into the kitchen with the kitten in her arms.
Viola was sitting at the large pine table, her maths books sprawled out in front of her. She looked up with a disgusted expression. ‘Urgh! It’s some manky flea-ridden animal,’ she cried.
‘It’s a kitten,’ said Katy, stroking his head protectively. ‘He’s not flea-ridden.’
‘Please take him out of the house,’ said Elspeth, her mouth set in a disapproving line. Her adopted mother never shouted, not like Katy’s real mum had.
‘Can’t I keep him?’ pleaded Katy.
Just then Huw strolled into the room, a newspaper tucked under his arm. ‘What have we got here?’ he said, beaming at Katy and extending a hand to stroke the kitten’s soft little head.
‘I found him,’ she said, reluctantly allowing Huw to take him from her. He held the kitten up, like a vicar about to baptize a baby. The kitten looked tiny in his large hands.
He chuckled. ‘I think you’ll find he’s a she.’ He tickled her chin. ‘Cute little thing.’
‘Can I keep her? Oh, please, please,’ she begged. She was on the verge of tears. She hadn’t asked for anything since arriving from the children’s home eight months ago.
Viola began to protest straight away but Huw held up a hand to silence her. ‘I don’t see why not.’
‘Now, Huw,’ began Elspeth, her fine eyebrows drawn together, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea. I haven’t time to look after a pet …’ She moved away from Viola and pushed Katy’s hair off her face. ‘Really, Kathryn, you should be wearing an Alice band.’