‘Oh, okay. Do you think it’s worth risking a forest fire?’
‘No, of course not. Sorry.’ I pulled my water bottle out of my pack and handed it to him. Sam had gone into ranger mode. I have to admit, I quite liked it.
‘We need a lot more than that. The stream is over there.’
‘Um…’
‘Yes?’ he asked, taking another look at the direction of the shooting lodge.
‘How do I get the water from the stream over to here?’
‘In your bucket?’
‘Um…’
He gave me a very hard look. Sam was the friendliest, most laid-back man I’d ever met, but it turned out he was deadly serious when it came to safety in his forest.
‘Are you trying to pluck up the courage to tell me that you lit a campfire, in open forestland, without a fire bucket?’
I nodded, too intimidated to speak.
Sam put his hands on his hips and stared at the ground. I got the feeling he was counting to ten in his head, but his set jaw gave nothing away.
‘Okay,’ he said, at about the point where I’d decided to pick up my rucksack and hotfoot it out of there. ‘We’ll use dirt.’
Cue a messy process that included spreading the burnt sticks about, digging beneath the dry surface dirt to damper soil below, then throwing it onto the sticks before doing the whole thing two more times until Sam declared the ‘fire’ to be sufficiently cooled. He then proceeded to check the surrounding area for any sparks or embers.
‘You really don’t have to worry, my fire was not that good.’
‘That’s what I’m worried about,’ he replied, poking at a log with a frown. ‘Next time, do everyone a favour and stick to a disposable barbecue. On bricks. And bring a fire bucket.’
I really didn’t think we needed to worry about a next time.
It was nearly fully dark by the time Sam was satisfied. I should have been completely frazzled, but I was still buzzing with adrenaline from his unexpected arrival and all that had happened since. Sam flicked on the torch that was strapped to his belt, which was about a hundred times more powerful than mine. Fortunately, a clear sky helped, with the moonlight shimmering between the treetops.
‘This is another reason why we discourage camping,’ Sam said, as we started walking back along the path into the trees, angling his torch so that I could see, completely eclipsing my feeble light in the process. ‘Dozens of people injure themselves tripping over roots or stepping in holes every year while stumbling around in the dark. Sometimes they end up lying there all night.’
‘I was planning to be safely tucked up in my tent by the time it was dark.’
‘Yeah, well. Things happen.’
Ain’t that the truth.
‘Are we going far?’ I dared to ask, once the grimace on Sam’s face had begun to ease. It was so dark out here that I’d totally lost all sense of direction or perspective. We could have been walking in ever decreasing circles for all I knew.
‘We’ll be there in five.’
‘Five what? Minutes? Miles?’
He stopped, swinging the rucksack that he’d insisted on carrying for me off his shoulders as though it was full of cotton wool. ‘Steps.’
He swung his mega-torch around to show me a clearing much smaller than the one I’d chosen. Maybe five metres across, twice that in length, it was wide enough for a canopy of stars above our heads, the three-quarter moon riding the treetops.
‘How on earth did you find this in the dark?’
Sam grinned. ‘You know me, wild man of the woods.’
‘Have you camped here before?’
‘Here or thereabouts.’
‘Well. Thank you for rescuing me from the risk of being shot. Next time I’ll ask your opinion on the best place to stay.’
‘Next time?’
‘You’re right. There won’t be a next time.’ I waited for Sam to untie the tent from the rucksack, and then made the mistake of taking a sip from my water bottle, so by the time I looked up again he was pushing in the final tent peg.
‘Maybe wait until the morning before you decide that. Although, if you genuinely want my opinion, book a proper, health and safety checked campsite – you can find “almost wild” campsites if you want the back to nature experience. Also, don’t—’
‘Don’t build a fire. I’ve got it. Lesson learnt.’ I pulled out my sleeping bag and stuffed it into the tent, throwing the rucksack in after it. ‘Right. It’s getting cold. I think I’ll try to get some sleep.’