They talked for a while about childbirth; it seemed to go with the territory when talking with a new mother. Then they talked briefly about Anna’s job, since her office was not far from this park.
“Which I should get back to,” she said, getting to her feet. “Do you live around here?” she asked.
“We live on Alameda Island. Nikit works in the city and I will go back to work when the baby is a bit older. This is a lovely respite, this baby break. We used to come into the city regularly before we were married. Working in the city, you must spend a lot of time here.”
“I’m usually completely wrapped up in work,” Anna said. “I don’t think I’ve taken the time to enjoy it in years. When I was younger and worked in the city, I spent a lot more time appreciating it. I should do this more often.”
“You should,” Amy said.
“I enjoyed our visit,” Anna said. “Thank you for being so friendly. Have a wonderful day.” Then she turned and began to walk away. Abruptly, she turned back toward Amy. “I apologize,” she said. “My name is Anna.”
Amy smiled up at her. “I know who you are, Mrs. McNichol.”
Anna gasped in surprise, then sank again to her knees, once again that feeling of knowing in her heart that something was happening, yet not knowing what. “Who was my husband to you?” she asked directly.
Amy bit her lower lip for just a moment. “He was my father,” she said.
FIVE
“How old are you?” Anna asked Amy.
“Twenty-eight,” she said. “I haven’t known about my biological father for very long. Just a few years. I imagine you have questions and I don’t know whether I can answer them but I can’t do it today. That’s probably for the best. Take your time and think about what you want to know and let’s get together for a talk.”
“Did he know about you?” she asked.
Amy nodded. “Yes. He contributed to my welfare and education. Apparently he sometimes watched from afar—a high school concert or my graduation. I met him for the first time when I was a teenager but I was told he was an old friend of the family. I found out the whole story when my mother was in the last stages of cancer. I didn’t get in touch until after she had passed away and I only did it because... Well, it was unfinished business. Nikit and I have a real thing about making sure we don’t leave things unfinished in our pasts.”
“Did your mother marry? Have other children?”
She reached into her diaper bag and pulled out a card. “On the back is my cell phone number. Think and digest, then call me and let’s set up a time to get together. Maybe you can take an afternoon and come to the house? It’s easier for me to be at home with the baby.”
“Do you know my husband was married with children when—Although I didn’t know about you, I knew there had been a relationship.”
“I’m sorry if you were hurt,” she said. Nikit had returned and was beside her again as if he could sense her need. He crouched down, sitting on one heel, his hands on her shoulders so it looked as though he quite literally had her back. “If there’s anything specific I can tell you, I will. Just think about it and give me a call. Or if you’d rather not...”
“I’ll call,” Anna said. “I promise. So...you lost a father...”
“Mrs. McNichol, I never really knew my father,” she said. “I knew about him, that’s all. And I knew that you and your children didn’t know about me. I communicated with him not very long ago and I’m so glad I did.”
“Why now, Amy? After all these years?”
“Because, for better or for worse, living a lie is toxic. Living with the truth can be difficult and require strength but living with secrets is unhealthy at best. My mother had so many secrets and she didn’t have to. I could never have stopped loving her even with the truth. Lies and secrets are just a mistake from the start. Maybe deadly.”
Anna thought about that and wondered what the real difference was between keeping secrets and being private. Shouldn’t everyone be entitled to a private life? But lies? Lies, she had to admit, led to no good.
Anna had a jury selection in a battery case scheduled for the afternoon and so had to spend at least a couple of hours in the office, though she was distracted. She took some small comfort in the fact that Chad probably had not had an ongoing affair for years and years if Amy had never even been aware of him. She needed many more details to better understand the situation. Like, what was that business of him supporting her welfare and education?