There was also the fact that Anna disagreed with him on political issues. He complained she didn’t show enough respect for his opinion. She complained that he didn’t listen to what she was saying, acted secretively. He didn’t think she was trying hard enough to be attractive; she’d put on a little weight and he said that showed she didn’t care. They’d lost their sexual edge and hardly ever had sex anymore. She couldn’t do or say anything right. At least the kids were no longer living at home. Anna and Chad had been at odds for about six months.
“Admit it, we have little in common anymore,” was one of the last things he said before leaving on his trip.
“Over thirty years, three children and quite a lot of history,” she had replied. “Not much, I suppose.”
So he booked a trip he said would help him clear his head. “When I get back, we should have a serious talk about our future,” he said. “We might have a lot of past but that doesn’t mean we have to be stuck in it. I’d like to sort out a few things.”
People kept streaming into the large room, many of whom Anna didn’t know. She was acutely aware that some would be clients of his, people who would never see him outside of the office except for an occasion like this. In fact, some of his clients might find themselves in a crisis, having their counselor die suddenly.
There would be a program, of course. While the pictures were rotating on the big screen, there was soft music playing. The bar was open but the food wouldn’t be brought out until after the speaking was done. They all agreed it should be brief and not open to those who hadn’t been asked to speak. Get it over with, Anna had said, and then people will either stay, eat and mingle or bolt, as is their preference.
“Ladies and gentlemen, if you’d take just a moment to freshen your drinks or grab a cup, we’ll be toasting our departed friend one more time after a brief tribute from his family,” Joe said. “Find yourselves a comfortable place to sit. I believe I received the honor of opening this program by virtue of the fact that, other than Chad’s siblings, I’ve known him the longest. I first encountered him in the eighth grade and while months and sometimes years separated us, we’ve managed to keep up with each other ever since. It’s been such a privilege to call myself his friend.”
Anna glanced over at Max Carmichael, the doctor who was the director of the counseling practice where Chad had worked for twenty years. Max not only offered to preside over a testimonial, he had clearly expected to be the one to do so. But the truth was Chad had hated him.
It was going to be Anna and the kids and Joe. Each one of them was going to tackle an important aspect of Chad’s character, deliver a short summary of love and devotion. Of course they couldn’t decide who did what without almost coming to blows, and at the same time Jessie was the only one who actually wanted to speak. Poor Mike was really hurting and it showed; he was Chad’s only son and they were very close. And little Bess, his baby, was shattered. The subjects to choose from were fought over like two dogs and one bone. Bess didn’t have a dog in that fight; she had made up her mind on what she wanted to say.
I’ll do integrity, Jessie had said.
I thought I’d get that one, based on his coaching and sports training with me, Mike argued.
Well, if I can’t have integrity, then I should get loyalty, Jessie said.
And so on.
Anna was thinking that after six months of adversarial marriage counseling, she had begun to question her husband’s integrity, his failed honesty and lack of loyalty, so she just ignored the squabbling. She was going to talk about how nonjudgmental and open-minded Chad was, how much he was able to help his clients with his tolerance. She was being the bigger person because in truth she was furious with him. After all, she had begged him not to go on the damn rafting trip he was not qualified to take on. At the time of her begging she had wondered if it was really a rafting trip or rather a lovers’ getaway.
Instinctively she looked around the room for the pregnant woman. She didn’t see her anywhere.
Jessie delivered her testimony dry-eyed and powerful, sure of herself. She spoke of his integrity, though that had not been her assignment. Mike, not so dry-eyed, did the same but added loyalty and talked about how Chad had been a great leader and how much people depended on him. Elizabeth, soft-spoken but clear-eyed, opined on the way Chad could accept people even when they were very different from him. And she should know—she had a mild form of autism and Chad had been her champion, pushing her into therapy that helped her function better and learn acceptable socialization, which probably saved her life. It was the one area in which Anna had been jealous of him. As a mother, she had always wished to be the one to save Bess from the stresses of Asperger’s syndrome.