“That’s when I became aware of him,” Amy said. “But it wasn’t until my mother was near death that I knew he was my biological father. I didn’t know he went to my graduation. High school and college actually. I didn’t even know he was there. After high school, he began to help with my tuition.”
“I thought you said he helped all along...”
“My mother told me that he sent money occasionally, just a random check now and then. She said she always meant to send it back. She didn’t want him to ever claim me or assert his legal rights, but it turns out that was not his plan. Maybe he was feeling guilty.”
“I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through,” Anna said.
“Please don’t say that. I’ve had such a good life. My mother had a great job she loved. Even though my mother and stepfather divorced, they had a good relationship and we stay in touch. I have two younger siblings. And I have Nikit and now Gina. I love my work. I’m sorry for all you went through. I must come as quite a shock.”
“Oddly, once I thought it through, not much of a shock at all,” she said. “I only knew there had been a relationship, but it had ended.”
“That’s what I was told, as well.”
“I’ve been dealing with marriages gone bad for many years, as a prosecutor, as a defense attorney and as a judge. I have a lot of friends, some of them have relationships I actually envy. For the most part, many of our friends envied us. But I’m sure they didn’t see into the viscera of our lives.”
“Everyone knows, people have intensely dramatic and secret private lives,” Amy said. “I didn’t really get to know my father but I thought he was charming and kind.”
“He was exactly that!” Anna said. “He must have been so happy to know you, finally.”
“I think so, in a way, though he did say he wasn’t quite ready to be a grandfather. I think maybe he struggled with that idea. He didn’t say so but I think he wondered how that worked with a child you’d never communicated with. Does he get invited to the baptism? To Christmas dinner?”
“Do you tell the family?” Anna added.
“That’s why I wanted to see you,” Amy said. “I’ll tell you whatever I can about my relationship with him. There isn’t much to tell, but I’m willing. But the real reason I wanted to talk to you is, it seems there has been some money left to me.”
“Ah,” Anna said. “You’re the anonymous recipient. I thought so.”
“You did?”
“Since meeting you,” Anna said. “It all began to make sense.”
“How is that so?”
“My late husband bequeathed ten percent each to our three children and another ten percent to an unknown recipient. I didn’t know about you until we met. You, however, knew about me and my late husband. It fell into place very quickly.”
“Do your children know?”
“Not yet.”
“Do you plan to tell them?”
“I know I should,” Anna said. “What do you think?”
“I think if they know about me and want to meet me, it’s their right. But they have to want that. I won’t make the decision for them. I have a personal ethic—the truth is always better. In fact, in the end, easier.”
“In my case, it’s an occupational hazard. I’m dedicated to the truth.”
“Of course you are,” Amy said, smiling. “Your honor.”
“Your last meeting with Chad? What was that like?”
“It was a courtesy call. I invited him to lunch. I introduced him to Nikit. I told him I was expecting. His first grandchild, he said. He got a bit gloomy about it actually. He asked me if I felt he had failed me.” She looked down into her coffee and was quiet for a moment. When she looked up again, her eyes glistened with tears. “I told him that I wished a relationship between us could have been handled differently, though I didn’t know how that might have worked. I told him yes, there were times I needed a father. And he asked me to forgive him.”
That was truly the first time Anna felt sorry for Chad. A child, as beautiful and smart as Amy, must have been hard to keep secret. Anna didn’t ask Amy if she forgave him.
“I also told him I was glad to know him now,” Amy said.
“I will tell my children about you and your baby,” Anna said. “I may take a little time to think it through, trying to come up with a logical and meaningful way of doing so.”