“Dealing with our grief and trying to put sense to troubles, and somewhere in the process we became closer. But I’ve always felt the pull.”
“You have?” she said, genuinely surprised.
“Oh, I have. The first time the thought occurred to me was after Arlene left. I don’t know if you realized it but we were both struggling with our marriages at the same time. When I was divorced, I felt so free. The weight of a bad marriage is such an enormous burden, and when it was gone, even though we still had our issues, I felt like I’d shed a hundred pounds. My mind turned to you so naturally, but you were managing to put your marriage back together.”
“I was in law school. Trying to save myself, trying to be prepared when he did it again.”
“And I stayed away because you were a temptation.”
She touched his cheek and smiled. “I noticed you had gone missing but I never thought it had anything to do with me.”
He kissed her again. “It had everything to do with you. I found myself wishing Chad was stupid enough to let you go and that could have been bad all around.”
Anna thought about that for a moment and in an instant she could see how devastating that might have been, nothing but doubt and hard feelings and suspicion, not to mention the rebound effect. It would not have worked. But would this?
“Is this happening?” she whispered.
“Not in the kitchen, I hope,” he said. “The bedroom, then?”
“If you’re sure,” she said, and was conscious of how weak and uncertain her voice was. It was not a sound she heard often. Anna was, if anything, strong and decisive.
“Oh, honey, I’m sure,” he said with a kiss. “I don’t want to rush you. Seduce you, absolutely. Not rush you.”
“How can I be nervous?”
“Good question. Why are you nervous? I can see you wondering if you’re ready for that level of intimacy with me, even though we’ve known each other forever, but—”
“I’ve had only one partner,” she said. “And we certainly weren’t burning up the sheets, especially the last few years.”
“No one before Chad, then?”
She shook her head.
“Amazing,” he said. “Well, come with me, Anna. I hear it’s like riding a bike.” He took her hand and led the way. “I think we’re going to be just fine.”
As they stood in the bedroom beside the bed, he kissed her again and again while he slowly lifted her sweater and peeled off his shirt. They pressed together and somehow her bra disappeared and they were flesh to flesh.
“This is so nice,” he whispered.
I never realized how much I wanted this, Anna thought. She had learned to live without this in her life and it was a great loss. She wanted not only to feel loved and desired, she wished to desire again. Life moves a little more slowly when you’re older except in this. In this, desire was quickly raging within her and she felt so much younger and more vital. She thought about their ages—fifty-seven and sixty-three—and something she didn’t know ten or twenty years ago was that passion could be amazing and crazy even at this age.
Within moments their clothes were gone, the covers were drawn back on the bed and they lay together, naked, holding each other. He had tossed a condom on the bedside table, just his tacit gesture that he would protect whether or not he thought it was necessary. And it brought to mind that she could return the favor. As women of her age often experienced some challenges, she had a few tricks up her sleeve. She rolled away from him long enough to fetch a small vial from the bedside drawer. She held it up. Lubricant. A little help. “Do you think this stuff goes bad if too much time has passed?” she asked.
He laughed and took it from her. “I’m sure it’s good. Let me take care of this when it’s time.”
Anna had been nervous, but not hesitant. Now, in his arms, naked against him, she was amazed at how confident she felt. It’s good when a woman feels wanted, feels chosen by the very one she would choose. He murmured against her neck and breast, told her she was beautiful, massaged and stroked every inch of her body. His fingers were soft and deft, soft as a feather sometimes, more firm and insistent other times.
And she touched him. His back was muscled, his arms were strong, his butt was solid and his... She stopped herself before she gasped. She had mentally prepared herself for an older man but Joe was as powerful and erect as a young man. When she filled her hand with him, he moaned and whispered her name.