Pip raised an eyebrow. ‘That’s exactly how I’m saying it.’
‘No, you’re being like ‘no more than reason?’ like it’s a question.’
‘I’m definitely not.’
Rooney gestured at her with her copy of Much Ado About Nothing. ‘You are. Look, just trust me, I know this play –’
‘Excuse me, I also know this play and I’m allowed my own interpretation –’
‘I know, and that’s fine, but like –’
Pip raised her eyebrows. ‘I think you’re just scared of me outshining you on stage.’
There was a pause while Rooney realised that Pip was joking.
‘Why would I be scared of that when I’m clearly the superior actor?’ Rooney shot back, snapping the book shut.
‘Wow. Presumptuous, much.’
‘Just stating the facts, pipsqueak.’
‘Roo,’ said Pip, ‘come on. You know I’m a better actor.’
Rooney opened her mouth to shoot back a retort, but the sudden use of a nickname seemed to take her so off-guard that she couldn’t even think of a comeback. I don’t think I’d ever seen her so genuinely flustered until that moment.
‘How about we take a break?’ I said. ‘We could watch a movie.’
‘Um, yeah,’ said Rooney, not looking at Pip as she joined me on the stack of cushions. ‘OK.’
We put on Easy A because Rooney had never seen it, and – though not quite up there with Moulin Rouge – it was one of my and Pip’s favourite sleepover movies.
I hadn’t seen it for a while. Not since before coming to Durham.
‘I’d forgotten this movie is about a girl who lies about not being a virgin for social clout,’ I said, once we were about half an hour in. I was sitting between Pip and Rooney.
‘AKA, the plot of at least eighty per cent of teen movies,’ said Rooney. ‘So unrealistic.’
Pip snorted. ‘You mean you didn’t lie about sleeping with a guy and then walk around with the letter A embroidered on your corset when you were seventeen?’
‘Didn’t have to lie,’ said Rooney, ‘and I can’t sew.’
‘I don’t get why so many teen movies are about teenagers who are obsessed with losing their virginity,’ I said. ‘Like … who actually cares?’
Pip and Rooney said nothing for a moment.
‘Well, I think quite a lot of teenagers do care about it,’ said Rooney. ‘Take Pip, for example.’
‘Excuse me!’ Pip exclaimed. ‘I don’t – I’m not obsessed with losing my virginity!’
‘Sure you’re not.’
‘I just think having sex would be fun, that’s all.’ Pip faced the screen again, going a little red. ‘I don’t care about being a virgin, I just – sex seems fun, so I’d like to start having it sooner rather than later.’
Rooney looked over at her. ‘I mean, I was joking, but that’s good to know too.’
Pip went even redder and stammered, ‘Shut up.’
‘But why are, like, most teen movies focused around the fact that teenagers feel like they’re going to die if they don’t lose their virginity?’ I asked, then almost immediately figured out what the answer was. ‘Oh. This is an asexual thing.’ I laughed at myself. ‘I forgot other people are obsessed with having sex. Wow. That’s really funny.’
I suddenly realised both Rooney and Pip were gazing at me with small smiles on their faces. Not pitying or patronising. Just kind of like they were happy for me.
I guess it was a development that I could laugh about my sexuality. That had to be progress, right?
‘It’s a good movie, but I think it’d be better if the main romance was gay,’ said Pip.
‘Agreed,’ said Rooney, and we looked at her.
‘I thought you’d be into this sort of adorable post-John-Hughes hetero romance,’ said Pip. ‘The straights eat this shit up.’
‘They do,’ Rooney agreed, ‘but fortunately I’m not straight, so, yeah.’
There was a long, long silence.
‘O-oh,’ Pip choked. ‘Well – well, that’s good then.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Yeah.’
We finished the rest of the movie in extremely awkward silence. And when it was done, I knew it was time for me to go. To step away and let this happen.
They tried to get me to stay, but I insisted. I needed to sleep, I told them. They could go through their last scene on their own.