I guess I felt a little lonely as I walked out of Castle. I walked down the corridors, out of Pip’s block, across the green and back towards St John’s. It was dark and cold at nearly 1 a.m. I was alone.
I was alone now.
When I got back to my room, I put Universe City on YouTube while I changed into my PJs, took my contacts out, brushed my teeth, and checked on Roderick, who really did seem to be doing better these days. And then I snuggled into my half of the bed, wrapping the covers round me.
I fell asleep for half an hour but woke up in a sweat, my mind filled with flashes of nightmares about apocalyptic futures and all my friends dying, and rolled my head automatically to check for Rooney, but she wasn’t there.
It was harder to fall back to sleep when she wasn’t there.
I woke up with my head feeling like TV static and a stomach full of bees, which was a given for show day. But none of that compared to the feeling of dread that washed over me as I checked my phone to find I had a huge stream of messages from Pip.
The first ones read:
Felipa Quintana
GEORGIA
EMERGENCY
I’VE FUCKED UP
ROONEY HAS GONE
Felipa Quintana
Okay I know it’s 7am and you’re definitely asleep but oh my god you are going to murder me when I explain what just happened
Oh my GOD sflkgjsdfhlgkj okay
WOW
Sorry I literally cannot process
Okay. right. so
Everything was fine last night, like, once you left we just went through our last scene.
（I mean fine by our standards, like obviously talking to her is just full of tension every time）
But by the time we finished it was suuuper late, it was like 3am so I offered to let her sleep in my room – as in, in my bed with me – and she said YES
This was definitely not a good idea because I did not sleep for one SINGLE minute my dude
She woke up again at like 5am and went to get some water, and when she got back I knew she could tell I was awake so we just started talking while lying in bed
And idk if it was because we were just tired or what but like … it was different, we weren’t bantering, we were just talking about stuff. Like first about the play and then about our lives at school and all sorts of deep shit. She told me … man we talked about a lot of really personal stuff for like … at least an hour, maybe more
She told me she thinks she’s pansexual!!!!! She said she just doesn’t think she really has a gender preference and that felt like the right word for her!!!! She said you already kinda knew about it
We’d been talking for ages and then we were just quiet for a while and then she was like – and I QUOTE – she literally said ‘I know it seems like I hate you but it’s actually the opposite’
Georgia, I died
I was like ‘yeah . . . . . . . . me too’ while trying not to actually scream
And then she just leaned in and KISSED ME
ADKLGJSHDFKLGJSLDFGSLFJGSLDF
She immediately moved away with this expression like she was scared she’d made a mistake
But obviously she had NOT made a mistake and she could see it on my fucking face
And then she leaned in again and we literally started MAKING OUT
Like I’m talking proper making out
So I’m just like holy fuck how is this happening, I’m literally deceased, and we just make out in my bed for like twenty minutes
UM this story gets a bit nsfw from here on I am very sorry about this but if I don’t tell someone what happened then I will die
So after a while she kneels up and just like … takes her t-shirt off. And I’m like. Oh my god
And then I’m thinking OKAY she wants to go further than just making out??
And I’d be okay with that??? I also want to do that?????
She like … lies back down and is like ‘is this okay?’ and I’m like hell yeah please proceed
（I didn’t actually use the phrase ‘please proceed’ during my first sexual encounter. I think I just nodded very enthusiastically.）
So obviously I’ve never done anything sexual with anyone and she’s like … just about to put her hand in my pyjama shorts and I’m nervous as hell but extremely up for it lol
But then she pulls back and she’s like ‘oh my god’ and she jumps off me and just starts freaking out, like, pulling her clothes on and packing up all her stuff and being like ‘I’m so sorry I’m so sorry’ and I’m just lying there horny and confused like ‘um’
And then she’s like ‘shit, I mess everything up’ and then she just like RUNS out of my room