“What do you mean we all? Is Warren off tomorrow too?”
She nods. “Bridgette, too. Although I don’t think she was actually going to help with the move.”
I laugh. “I would have been shocked if she did.”
“True. Why are you asking?” Sydney says. “Do you have something in mind?”
I shrug. “Nothing specific. I just thought… I don’t know. Maybe it would be good for all of us if we spent more time together. Now that…well…”
Sydney nods, like she’s been thinking the same thing. “Now that the dynamics have changed and it’s hella awkward?”
“Yep. That.”
Sydney laughs and then leans forward on the counter in thought. “Maybe we could do the cave thing. In Georgetown.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of lunch,” I admit. “I don’t expect you guys to spend your entire Saturday with me.”
“The caves sound really fun, though.”
I tilt my head, watching her for a sign that she’s just saying that to be polite. Sometimes she seems too nice and too accommodating, to the point that it makes me suspicious. But I also get nothing but an authentic vibe from her. Maybe some people just don’t stoop to the same levels of jealousy that others do. As if Sydney can sense the suspicion in my expression, she continues speaking.
“Remember the night of Warren’s birthday party?”
I nod. “You mean the night I thought your bra was cute and stupidly wanted Ridge to see it?”
Sydney cringes a little. “That’s the night,” she confirms. She looks down at her hands, clasped together on the counter in front of her. “I had a lot of fun with you that night, Maggie. I really did. At the time, I thought there was a chance we’d end up becoming friends, and it excited me because I really needed a friend after what Tori did to me. But then I kind of ruined that opportunity when I broke girl code and kissed your boyfriend.” She looks up at me. “I’ve always hated that I ruined what I really do think could have been a good friendship between us. And now, months later, here we are again. And for whatever reason, you’re extending an olive branch. So, yes, lunch tomorrow sounds good. But I also really want to see the caves, so if you can find it in yourself to extend an entire olive tree, then I think it’ll be fun.”
She looks nervous as she waits for my answer. I don’t make her wait long, because I don’t want her to feel nervous. Or awkward or guilty or anything else this girl doesn’t deserve to feel. I smile at her. “You didn’t ruin anything by breaking girl code, Sydney.”
My words make her smile. “Bet you don’t bring guys around me ever again, though. And I would completely understand.”
“I’m done with guys,” I say with a laugh. “Especially after what I did to the last one.”
Sydney’s eyebrow rises in curiosity, and I suddenly realize I spoke more than I should have. I don’t want to talk about Jake, but based on the look she’s giving me right now, she wants details.
“Is this your one-night stand?”
I nod. I was honestly surprised she didn’t ask me about it when she was modifying my bucket list the other day. “Yeah. His name is Jake. I freaked out on him.”
“Why?”
“He cooked me breakfast.”
Sydney shoots me a look of mock horror. “Oh, how dare him,” she says.
I laugh at her sarcasm and then cover my face with my hands. “I know. I know, Sydney. And I tried to rectify it a couple of days later but then ended up in the hospital and found out he has a kid, and I don’t know… It just felt stupid of me to try and pursue him at that point.”
“Why? Because you hate kids?”
“No. No, not at all. I was in my hospital room, and I could hear him outside talking to his son on the phone, and it all just felt so real in that moment. Like not only would this guy—who is really awesome and smart and funny—be entering my life, but so would his kid, who sounded like a great kid, and I just… I got scared.”
“Of what?”
I sigh. That’s a good question, because even I’m confused as to why I kept pushing him away. “I think my fears flipped on me somewhere along the way. I told myself that I didn’t want to break his heart or become his burden. But in all honesty, I’m more scared that he’ll break mine. It hit me when I realized how much I liked him that maybe most people aren’t as committed as Ridge and aren’t willing to put up with what a relationship with me would entail. I became terrified that he would end up being the one to walk away, so I did it first. Maybe I didn’t want things with him to end badly. I don’t know. I question my choice every single day.”