Yep, I’d splurged and purchased an actual bottle the following morning. What could I say, I was having a crisis.
“Then what happened?”
“We both went home. Our own homes. Alone.”
Layla stared at me with wide, unblinking eyes. It was rare to see her speechless. “He said all that to you, and you just went home?”
It was one of my more cowardly moments, for sure. I balanced my glass between two of my fingers, twirling it back and forth, wondering if I should actually eat lunch. “Yep.”
“What in the hell is wrong with you? He’s a catch. A good one, Mads. And Jamie loves him. He’s always talking about him and asking if he’s coming over.”
I set my glass down and pushed it away from me. I needed to get my shit together and be an adult. My shift tonight wasn’t going to disappear just because I’d kissed the man I was in love with and chose to have wine for a meal.
“I know he is, but it’s not fair to him or Jamie for me to jump in before knowing it’ll work out.”
“No one goes into a relationship already knowing it’ll work out. That’s literally the point of dating.”
I grumbled, passing by her position at the bar and throwing myself face-first onto the couch. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be dating material, Layla. I’m a mess.”
She followed, plopping down on top of my ass. Both dogs jumped up from their positions on the floor, excited for a cuddle party, but luckily for my face, she waved them down. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the way they both seemed to huff in disappointment.
She smacked my thigh, “Yeah, you are a mess. A hot fucking mess, to be exact. But that doesn’t mean you’re not worth it, nor does it mean you shouldn’t try. You’ve been single for years, Mads. It’s time to take a chance.”
“I don’t just have me to think about. You said it yourself, Jamie loves him. I can’t do that to him. I can’t tease him with the idea of finally having two parental figures in his life only to rip it away if things don’t work out.”
“Just test the waters then.”
I sent a glare her way even though she couldn’t see my face from her perch on top of me. “I can’t sleep with him. We’re neighbors. If we ended up having no chemistry, and he decided he wanted to hit-it-and-quit-it, he wouldn’t be able to. He’d be stuck seeing my face all the time. Hitting-it without the quitting-it part.”
“So, you’re saying there was no chemistry when he kissed you?”
Even smooshed to the couch, a full-grown woman using me as a cushion, I flushed to my toes, replaying Garrett’s kiss for the one millionth time that morning. There’d been more than chemistry, a lot more. I just hadn’t decided what to do about it yet.
Garrett wanted me right now, but would the excitement of being with me fade after he finally fucked me? He claimed to be willing to wait until I was emotionally ready, but how long would he actually be willing to wait before losing interest? Chemistry didn’t automatically equal long-term feelings.
Not to mention, had he really thought through the fact that being with me meant also being with my kid? That was a huge ass commitment for anyone.
I thought about my sweet, protective, sassy, oddball child, who was currently at a movie with his grandpa. I couldn’t imagine a single person who wouldn’t enjoy having him around, but I was a tad biased.
Did I want to see Garrett every day? Yes. I wanted to watch him and Jamie argue over video games and wrestle on the floor while Rugsy yapped at them. I wanted him to walk up behind me and kiss me sweetly while I cooked dinner or folded his clothes. I wanted to dote on him and be doted on.
Did I also want to strip his clothes off and see if he could back up his claim to have me seeing stars for the first time? Ab-so-fucking-lutely. Pun intended.