“Look, Mom, it’s not like I want y’all to date.”
Erin didn’t comment on Parker picking up y’all from her time at school.
“I mean—it’s not what I would’ve ever thought I wanted,” Parker said. “When I saw your texts on Valentine’s Day, I … I never wanted to talk to either of you again. I hated you both so much.”
Erin nodded. She’d hated herself, too.
“I made Acacia tell me everything she knew. Which—we all owe her a lot, to be honest. I made her be kind of a shitty friend. She never would have told me anything about you and Cassie, but I made her. And I’m glad I did, because she helped me see it for what it was. You make each other so happy, Mom.”
Erin cried some more.
“I was so mad at both of you, but I could also see how happy you were. You haven’t been this happy in a long time.” She shrugged. “So I got over it.”
“You’re allowed to be mad,” Erin said. “Even now. Even if you’re ‘over it.’ We shouldn’t have lied to you. Or gone behind your back. I am so sorry. I should have been honest with you from the beginning.”
“What, like at breakfast?”
“Okay, maybe not the exact beginning.”
Parker chuckled. “I guess yeah, maybe I’m still a little mad. But I love you both. And I get it. And I’m happy for you.”
“How’d you turn out so good?”
“Maybe you were a good role model after all,” Parker said. “So, what are you going to do now? With her going to Caltech and all.”
Erin’s balloon burst. “I don’t know. I … I don’t even know how she feels, honestly. We haven’t talked about it.”
“You’ve been dating for seven months and you haven’t talked about it?”
“We didn’t—I mean, we haven’t exactly called it dating. We haven’t called it anything. Talking about it would have made it real, and it couldn’t be real.”
“Y’all should probably talk about that, huh?”
“Ya think?”
“I gotta go talk Dad down anyway.”
Erin cringed. “I’m sorry about that,” she said. “I don’t care what he thinks of me, but I can’t imagine it’s going to be a particularly fun conversation for you.”
“I’ll definitely threaten to come back and spend the night here if he’s a dick about it,” Parker said. “But I won’t, ’cause”—she waved her hands vaguely—“I don’t want to mess up your … date night or whatever.”
As though their night hadn’t already been thoroughly messed up. “I’m more than happy to go back to pretending you don’t know rather than have you allude to my sex life.”
“Yeah, me too.” Parker shuddered like she was shaking the contamination off. “Anyway. I’ll deal with Dad. Don’t worry about it.”
Adam wasn’t who Erin was worried about dealing with though.
She had no idea what was going through Cassie’s head. Hopefully the other woman was simply overwhelmed, which would be understandable.
Erin watched Parker’s car pull away and then kept watching, like Cassie was going to immediately show up again. She bounced her leg. The street was empty.
After a minute or two, she convinced herself to finish making dinner instead of staring out the window.
A watched pot never boils.
Twenty-Five
CASSIE
Cassie drove too fast and left her helmet visor open. She couldn’t cry with the wind stinging her eyes.
She didn’t know where she was going. Took roads she hadn’t taken before. She just wanted to get away. Riding usually cleared her mind, but her thoughts were too messy.
The whole semester. Parker’s distance. Their fight. Acacia, stuck in the middle. None of it was what she’d thought it was.
The way Erin didn’t disagree with Parker’s claim they were dating.
That one made even less sense than the rest.
Cassie knew it looked like they were dating. Acacia had been telling her that for months, and Cassie could see it. They enjoyed each other’s company and liked having sex. It took Cassie until this fucking week to realize it was anything other than that. But Erin didn’t want to date her. That was what she’d told Rachel.
Maybe not in those specific words, but that was the gist.
She pulled off the road at a park.
This was so messed up. She needed to talk to her best friend.