Zach looked at her. She saw both hope and worry in his eyes: hope that she meant it and worry that she didn’t. “What are you saying?”
“Go find her, Zach. Tell her how you feel.” She pushed the hair from his eyes and smiled. “She’s a part of our family. She needs to know that.”
“She won’t care, Mom. I let her go to prison.”
“You can’t claim all the blame, Zach.”
“Enough of it. How could she forgive me?”
“Can you forgive me, for being such a bad mom in the last few years?”
“There’s no need.”
“That’s how we do it, Zach. We just … forgive. I used to worry that you and Lexi were too young for love, and I still think of you as young, but you’re not, are you? None of us are, and life doesn’t take the straight road.”
“Where is she?”
“I don’t know that.”
Zach gave her a hug and then hurried out of the cabin. She was still in the open doorway, staring up the empty driveway when she felt Miles come up beside her.
He put an arm around her. “He went to find Lexi?”
“Yep.”
“Change comes fast.”
“It can.” She turned into him, slipped her hands around his waist, and gave him a kiss.
It was a quiet miracle, really, the durability of their love.
“Nana, Papa!” Grace slipped between them like a little eel. “Let’s play Candy Land. Nana can be Princess Frostine.”
“Your Nana doesn’t play—” Miles started.
“I’d love to play Candy Land again,” Jude said.
It was strange how a sentence could free something inside of you—such a little thing.
They sat around the coffee table, in front of the fire. With the board set up, they played and talked and laughed. They were finally putting it away when the front door burst open and Zach walked in.
“I couldn’t find her,” he said, looking miserable and pissed off. He tossed his car keys on the entry table. “I don’t even know where to look.”
Grace ran to him and he picked her up, kissing her cheek.
“Hey, Daddy. Look what my mommy gave me.” She held out the ring.
Jude thought her son was going to crumple to his knees right there. “The promise ring,” he said, letting Grace slide down to the floor. “She didn’t want it anymore.”
“Daddy?”
He walked over to the window, stared out at the dark Sound. “Where could she be?”
“Who?” Grace said, coming up beside him, putting her hand in his back pocket.
“I looked at the park, at that place in the woods by her old trailer. I looked in every window downtown. I even went to the cemetery and the … place on Night Road. It’s like she vanished.” He turned to Jude. “Did she say anything?”
Jude tried to remember. She’d been so focused on the journal, she’d barely been listening to Lexi. Another mistake to atone for. “I think she said something about a last good-bye. Something she should have done a long time ago. I should have stopped her. I should have—”
“A good-bye?”
“Yeah, that’s right. She said she had one last thing to do. A good-bye she should have said a long time ago.”
Zach grabbed his keys and ran out of the house.
*
Lexi tried to wait until midnight, but she couldn’t do it. She was anxious, sick to her stomach about what she had to do. Finally, at about nine-thirty, she couldn’t stand it anymore. She left Scot’s warm, love-filled home and rode the bicycle out to LaRiviere Park. There she stood at the water’s edge. The sound of waves whooshing forward, reaching for her and receding, would forever remind her of first love. But finally, it was time to go.
She walked the bike up the hill and pedaled onto the main road. Even this late on a summer’s night, Main Street was full of people milling about, and Lexi dodged between and around them with the ease of a local girl in a tourist town. A faded melancholy assailed her as she passed the places that would forever define her youth. She would always remember the girl she’d been on this Main Street, the girl who laughed with her best friend and waited for a boy in a white Mustang.
On Beach Drive, she slowed down and coasted up to the Farradays’ driveway. Hiding her bike in the salal, she stayed close to the tree line until she was close enough to see that the house lights were off.
No one was home.
Breathing a sigh of relief, she walked down the driveway and around the side of the house.