“You’ll file alphabetically out of the gym and along the bleachers and onto the football field—if it’s sunny. If not, we’ll be in here,” the principal was saying. “Now, let’s try a walk-through, okay? Jason Adnar, you start us off…”
Lexi followed along as she was supposed to, finding her seat on the floor. The rehearsal took all of sixth period, and when it was over, they were released from school. The whole class burst out of the gym like some musical where the kids were starting summer break.
She and Zach found each other without really trying; it was like echolocation. Each just knew where the other was, and they couldn’t stand to be apart. Everything felt so big these days, so momentous. Graduation. Summer vacation. College. Sometimes all Lexi could really hold onto was now, her love for Zach and her friendship with Mia. Everything else was changing.
Zach took her by the hand, and they walked across campus. At the student parking lot, he opened the Mustang door for her.
“Where’s Mia?” Lexi asked.
“Mom is picking her up. They’re having girl time after school.”
“That’ll be good for Mia.” Lexi got in the car.
Zach slid into the driver’s seat and looked at her. “I need to tell you something.”
“What?”
“Not here.”
Lexi tensed. Reaching over, she held on to his hand as if it were a lifeline, which it had been from the beginning. All the way through town and down to LaRiviere Park, she said nothing.
At the park, he pulled into their usual spot and turned off the engine. She waited for him to open his door, but instead he twisted around in his seat. His green eyes were bright with tears.
“What?” she whispered.
“I love you, Lexi.”
He was going to break up with her. She should have expected this, been ready for it. She wanted to say, I know you do, but she couldn’t do it. The words felt like broken glass in her mouth.
“I want go to Seattle Central with you. We could get an apartment.”
“Wait. What? You want to go to community college with me?”
“I don’t want to leave you, Lex.”
She actually shuddered with relief, made a little sound.
He kissed her damp cheek and wiped his eyes, looking embarrassed by tears that were more valuable to her than diamonds.
Holding hands, they left the car and walked out to their place among the driftwood and sat down together. Waves whooshed along the sand, sounding like first love to Lexi. When she looked at him, she almost started to cry again.
He began to spin the dream for her. He talked about their life and the apartment they would find and the jobs they would get. He meant it, all of it, and she loved him all the more for it, but wanting it wouldn’t be enough.
“Mia,” was all she had to say. She hated to remind him, but what kind of friend would she be if she didn’t? She loved Mia as much as she loved Zach.
Zach sighed. “What do I do?” He stared past her, out at the Sound. Then he said it again, more softly, “What do I do?”
“I don’t think we should even talk about this, Zach. What’s the point?”
“But it could work. Why couldn’t it? We could get an apartment in Seattle. The three of us. We could go to Seattle Central Community College for a year or two and then transfer to the U. I’ll still get in a good med school. It’s not like USC is the only good school in the world.”
She felt like a kid hanging onto a balloon, being pulled effortlessly into the air. His vision was so buoyant; for a few precious moments, she let herself believe in all of it. Then he said, “I’m going to tell them what I want,” and she lost her hold on the string and fell back to earth.
“Not yet,” she said, burrowing as tightly against him as she could. Instead of saying anything, she strained upward, kissing him until the tears in her eyes dried up. She let her hands and her mouth communicate how much she loved him.
Afterward, they lay entwined, listening to the incoming tide, watching the cerulean blue sky begin ever so slightly to darken. Finally, as the day drifted toward a lavender evening, they had to leave their snow-globe world, where the view was always the same and no one else could get in.
Lexi held his hand all the way back to his house, afraid to let go. As they turned onto Night Road, her tension grew, until it was a pitchfork-jabs headache that wouldn’t go away.
She loved Zach, but he didn’t know anything about disappointment. Everything had always come so easily. He didn’t expect anything else.