“Thank you. I love you,” I said. I wound my arms around his neck. “But also, I really can’t stand you. Every city on my rank list? You crazy boy.”
He chuckled.
“Well, speaking of crazy,” he said. His smile turned coy. “I . . . may have also made a little trip to the ’burbs with the abuelos while you were away for interviews.”
I pulled back, not entirely understanding.
“There was a long debate about whether we should go with gin or schnapps,” Ricky continued. “I tried to tell them that you were a Peppermint Patty girl, but Abuelo talked me out of it.”
He gave me an earnest look, and the pieces clicked together. The man I loved, sitting across from my father in my family’s home, sipping Muscatella. Asking permission to be mine forever.
I lifted trembling hands to my mouth. Slowly, Ricky pulled them away, holding my wrists in suspension as he leaned in to kiss me. I let my toes curl from the sensation and wondered if kissing him would always feel like this, like the heat of the sun on the first day of summer or a sip of hot chocolate on a frigid winter day. Like letting myself freefall in love, and for once not searching for where I might land.
“All that’s left,” Ricky said, breaking away, “is for you to call your parents and let them know if you accept.” He kissed the inside of my wrist, holding my gaze. “Though, a warning. I’ll be a lot harder to get rid of if you do. So, what do you say?”
I laughed, and for once, when I gave my answer, I didn’t have to think about it.
Acknowledgments
Mom and Dad: I’m sure having a child like me was overwhelming. I never stopped moving, never stopped talking, filled our “Ghana must go” bags with drawings, rambled nonstop about stories I’d made up in my head. But you supported me and my interests from the beginning. You bound my books at Kinko’s and taught me that my words had power. You battled my imposter syndrome and reinforced that I have a “big brain” and could, in fact, do it all. I’m so happy to be yours.
Humphrey and Sam: Navigating the world with you is always a delight. You understand how my brain works because yours work the same way. Thank you for being equally dramatic, for being equally loving, for all our dumb inside jokes. Proud to be your big sis.
Justin: Love of my life. You don’t even read rom-coms, but you let me read every chapter of OR out loud to you and offered suggestions that I often summarily rejected, thus sparing the readers your truly awful puns. When I was shaking with anxiety about the process, you were steadfast, like a rock. When I sold, you acted like it wasn’t even a big deal, like Of course you would sell, because you really do think I can do anything. What an honor to love and be loved by you.
Chris: Holy cow did I luck out with my mother-in-law. Thank you for reading the entire book, for your enthusiastic support during the submission process, for our relaxing girl dates, and for raising a wonderful son.
Linda and Nefti: My IRL Sanity Circle. My sisters. My RIDE-OR-DIES! I joke that I have three brains because you are two of them. Thank you for all the time spent brainstorming plot points, for reading basically every draft of OR I have ever written, for baecations and laughter and loving me so hard that I learned to truly love myself. It feels insufficient to call you my best friends. OR wouldn’t exist without you.
Riss: My writing big sister. You held my hand from across the country, gave me guidance and laughter and genuine, heartfelt care. I could not dream of a better person to be debuting with. Your writing makes me want to weep; it’s still shocking to me that you also like mine. （Everyone, go buy Deep in Providence by Riss Neilson so that we can fangirl together.）
Shruti: Thank you for kicking my writing into overdrive, reading my revision as I wrote it in real time, for loving Ricky and Angie so much that it made me believe others would too. You’re a rockstar, and I love you.
Eunhye, Deje, Mandy, Allison: Thank you for reading that first draft through and giving me feedback that helped guide me, for your enduring support even when you were enduring your own BS. Y’all are the best!
Dr. Vela: Thank you for being my IRL Dr. Wallace. You saw me when I was a wee premed who wrote stories and drew comics instead of churning out abstracts, and you said, “Yes, this one will add something to the field.” I love you, and I am always inspired by your willingness to always do what’s right. Proud to be a part of #HouseofVela.
Ross, Satish, and Edna—my residency family. We’ve been through so much: nursing strikes, a pandemic, MICU calls with untenable censuses . . . you name it. Thank you for creating a safe space for me to be myself during residency, for the debriefs after difficult stretches on service, for letting me cry and vent and feel things, for overall having my back.