揧eah? I wasn抰 sure how much she liked it,?I say.
揥hy抯 that??
揝he seemed a little apprehensive. Once she got going, she didn抰 hate it. But she mentioned how she used to be afraid of beaches. I wondered if it was a little overwhelming for her. I also got the feeling that surfing was almost like a way of confronting her fears more than any burning interest, unlike her time with the dolphins and turtles.?
揙h, damn. Wow. That抯 news to me. I抳e never met a kid afraid of the beach,?Troy says slowly. 揇id she say why??
揘o. She mentioned they found her mom there a long time ago. Maybe it抯 just the idea of being so close to that spot. Losing Aster so young must抳e been insanely traumatic.?
揊uck. She didn抰 see anything, did she??he leans closer, his face pulled tight before it relaxes into his carefree smile. 揝orry. It抯 still a little hard on all of us, sometimes, even if it was ages ago. I always thought Destiny was home with Cole when it happened.?
揑 don抰 think she saw anything. It抯 just knowing her mom抯 body was there…？
揧eah, sure. That makes sense. Thank God.?He mutters the last part to himself, nodding.
Huh?
The loud timer whistles through the lab, empty except for us. I wave my hand in front of the boiling pot on the grill.
揌ere we go. This is basically all there is to the campfire method. You need to make sure it always peaks around a hundred and eighty-five degrees.?I lift the digital thermometer in the pot to check. 揅lose. But we抮e not there yet.?
揅ool. I抳e seen just about enough to get the gist of it. If it抯 good enough for you, then it抯 good enough for me to call it right here.?
揘obody minds a shorter day.?I smile, feeling a little better about having him around.
揟hanks again, Miss E. For being there for my friend and his daughter, I mean,?he says, looking up from punching a few more notes into his phone.
I nod, mostly to myself as the man turns his back and starts walking.
揌ey, Troy, if you抮e this worried about him… Do you think he抯 over her??
He turns around and rakes me with a look.
揌e wouldn抰 lead you on, if that抯 what has you worried. He抯 not that kind of dude. Have you asked him about it and talked it out??
I hesitate, my throat suddenly feeling like cotton. 揘o. It just feels a little callous asking him to swear he抯 over his dead wife… I mean, it抯 not even my place to ask.?
揑t was eons ago, Eliza. He抣l probably never be completely over her, but that doesn抰 mean he doesn抰 care about you. Deeply. Anyway, I抦 probably not the person you should be having this conversation with.?
揜ight. I抦 sorry. You抮e his best friend, so I just thought I抎 ask…？
揘o biggie. I can tell you what I know, but I don抰 want to speak for Cole, right??He searches my eyes.
揑 understand.?
揋ood, and thanks again for the science demo. I抣l see you later.?Troy leaves the lab.
I run to the drinking fountain by my desk for water with my stomach swirling.
All of those alarm bells and red flags are burning my senses.
No, I don抰 think Cole is like Derek, but that抯 not the point.
He抎 never cheat and lie.
Okay, he抎 never cheat.
He might lie梙armless, necessary little white lies like his Mr. Smith act at the sushi place梑ut I don抰 think he抎 ever hurt anyone on purpose. But what if he抯 not fully over Aster?
Half an hour later, Cole texts me. I jump when my phone vibrates.
How are the cold drinks coming?
Dude. You sent someone down to watch the campfire method and you think I抳e had time to get your frozen drinks ready?
They抮e not coming yet. I got a little sidetracked with Troy抯 visit, I send back.
Cole: Just let me know when they are.
Eliza: Will do, but it抯 going to be a few hours.
The next text he sends is an image of us.
Me, specifically, asleep in his arms on the hammock in a green Hawaiian oasis. I took this after you fell asleep. You were too fucking cute not to.
There go my worries again.
I抦 smiling like a moonstruck fool at the memory.
If only I could hold on to that.
But if his wife抯 death is making him hold back, making him hesitate, then all our happy Hawaiian memories are tainted.
And if coffee and secrets are all we have, then it抯 one bad cup I can抰 stomach.
18
Fine Grind （Cole）
It抯 been almost a week since my sushi date with Eliza, when I promised her I wouldn抰 go three days without kissing her again.
Still, I get the nagging feeling she抯 avoiding me.
If I抦 being honest, she was distant, even that night.
She抯 been all fucking distance since we came home from the island. Why?