The gulf between us feels a mile wide.
I loathe it.
I抎 rather have a hole in my head.
揥ell…if you抣l excuse me, I have work to finish,?she whispers.
I glance at my watch. 揧ou can抰 be here after security changes over. It抯 against policy now. You have less than fifteen minutes to clean up.?
揙h, so we care about corporate policies now??Hurt sarcasm drips from her voice.
揑 won抰 have you or anyone else here alone past ten. You know that,?I say coldly.
揂nd I抎 rather not have you in this lab at all, but here you are.?
My fingers form a fist, and I bang it softly against my thigh. I just can抰 stop the train wreck rolling out of my mouth.
揥hy do you have to be so goddamned difficult??I growl.
揗r. Lancaster, you抮e distracting me from my job. It抯 after hours and I抦 tired. Please just梘et out. Get out of my workspace.?
It抯 surreal, watching yourself fuck everything up without an easy way to un-fuck it.
揇on抰 make this personal,?I whisper. 揑t抯 a simple safety precaution. If something ever happened to you…？I pause, inhaling air that scalds my lungs. 揑抎 never forgive myself. Never, Eliza.?
揥hat difference does it make? You shouldn抰 have let me in, remember??
Fucking hell.
The worst part is knowing this wretched case of foot-in-mouth disease was so preventable.
Before I do more damage, I storm out of the lab.
Tom waits for me patiently with the car, and I throw myself inside of it without another word.
Amazingly, tonight抯 blue balls are the least of my worries.
I should抳e known better than to get mixed up with an employee.
I damn well should抳e known better than to reconnect with old friends.
Why the fuck did Troy have to squawk about Aster at all? When the sensation to stab him in the throat slightly fades, I call him from the back seat Bluetooth setup.
揅ole? It抯 late, man, what抯 up??
揂re you still up??I bite off.
揧eah…what抯 up??
揗eet me at my house ASAP. It might take me a few minutes to get there. I抦 leaving the office now.?
揙kay, sure. No problem. Is everything okay? You sound really棓
揓ust come, Troy. We抣l discuss it then.?
Thirty minutes later, I overfill two large glasses with brandy and hand one to Troy.
He sits on my black leather sofa in an oversized island shirt with a blank expression. His usual shitty grin was wiped off his face the moment he stepped through the door.
I could smell the stink of whisky on him, and it brings me some small pleasure to know I tore him away from the bar downtown and his next hookup tonight.
Still, he gives me that kicked puppy look I hate when I hand him his damn drink.
揅ole…I抦 sorry I let too much slip. I didn抰 mean to tell her point blank that Aster killed herself, and I definitely never expected her to hassle you about it.?
My eyebrows go up sharply.
?it抯 your business. Family business. I get it. I really screwed the pooch and I抦 sorry.?He hangs his head, staring into his drink.
Am I being too hard on him?
He抯 never been anything but supportive since the night he saved me from a knife fight in Manila on leave. If he hadn抰 been there to drag my drunk ass away from four nasty guys I抎 gotten into an argument with, I might抳e never had Aster or Destiny or Eliza to worry about at all.
There抯 also no denying how strange Aster抯 end was, how it抯 given me nothing but questions.
I sigh, rolling my shoulders.
揥hatever. It抯 not your fault,?I mutter, taking a pull off my drink. 揑t抯 not even Eliza抯。 I should抳e laid my cards out before anything happened with her.?
Sympathy shines in his eyes. 揗an, you just need to open up with her. Have a heart-to-heart. Tell her the truth without holding anything back.?
揑 can抰。？
Troy gulps his brandy and sets the glass down with a thunk.
揥hy not??
揃ecause I don抰 even know the fucking truth after all these years, Troy.?I throw back my brandy, waiting for the fireball in my gut before I ask, 揧ou want another round??
He hands me his empty glass.
揊ill me up. And Lancaster, you know the truth, you heartbroken asshole. You just don抰 want to admit it.?
I sigh again as I refill our glasses, sloshing booze on the table and not caring.
揑抳e been thinking about it constantly ever since we came home. Destiny brought back this turtle necklace she took from her mom抯 room. Thing is, it抯 driving me crazy. I抳e never seen it before, but Dess is convinced I bought it for Aster on our last trip there. It抯 the only explanation that makes sense, but I just can抰 take credit for jewelry I can抰 remember. How fucked up is that??