Robyn’s head snapped up. ‘I don’t want to go.’
‘You can see the sights. Visit a museum.’
‘I want to have a shower and a drink.’
Bella sighed. ‘I’m going to have a lie-down. Fen? Come with me?’
Fen put her arm around Bella’s waist and supported her as she hobbled to their room.
Propped up on the double bed, Bella watched Fen’s concentration as she resettled the cold compress.
Above them, the fan droned, wafting warm air around the room. Bella took a sip of her rum. ‘How’s it looking?’
Crouched down, Fen answered, ‘Cankle-y.’
‘Likelihood of wearing my espadrilles again this trip?’
She thought for a moment. ‘You could wear one.’
‘Humph.’
‘Sure you’re okay? We could get a taxi to hospital – get you checked out.’
Bella flicked a hand through the air. ‘They’ll check my blood pressure, take my temperature, give me paracetamol – and charge me a hundred euros for the pleasure. So I’m fine here with my rum and sea view, thanks.’
Fen unlaced her hiking boots, then peeled off her socks. She pressed her feet onto the cool tiles and sighed.
‘Good hike?’
Her eyes glittered as she said, ‘It was so nice to be out in the hills again. I’d forgotten how beautiful it is.’
‘Didn’t know Robyn was going.’ She said it as easily as she could.
‘Anyone was welcome.’
Bella took a sip of her drink, ice cubes knocking against the almost empty glass. ‘You’ve been gone all morning.’
‘I didn’t think there was any set plan for the day,’ Fen said, picking up her hiking boots, crossing the room and setting them by the bedroom door.
‘There isn’t. I missed you, that’s all.’ Bella didn’t have any right to complain, but she still felt hurt.
She studied Fen: the nose piercing, the tattoo, those broad shoulders. She was wearing a vest with Good vibes printed in rainbow colours across the chest. She always looked so effortlessly cool. Bella followed the curve of her breasts. ‘No bra,’ she said, thinking how sexy it was seeing her nipples through her top. ‘Wait. You hiked without a bra?’
‘It’s in my bag. I went for a swim.’
‘When?’
‘On the way back. There’s a cove—’
‘With Robyn?’ Bella stiffened.
‘Of course with Robyn.’
‘I didn’t know you were planning on stopping at a beach. Did you have swimming stuff?’
‘What is this?’ Fen said, brow furrowed. ‘We skinny-dipped.’
‘You and Robyn swam naked?’ Bella whisper-shouted.
‘Yes. We did.’
‘Fuck.’
Fen opened her hands. ‘We’ve never had issues with things like that. You sleep in Lexi’s bed or take a sauna at a health spa with a bunch of naked women. I went for a skinny-dip. Am I not allowed to do that?’
Bella knew the hot, fizzing anger in her chest was too big for the situation. ‘I just don’t want my girlfriend to disappear for half a day.’
‘With Robyn.’
‘Yes, with Robyn. I don’t know why you’d want to hang out with her anyway. She’s so … so fucking boring!’ There. She’d said it.
Fen glared at her. She didn’t contradict Bella, tell her she was wrong, tell her she shouldn’t speak about people in that way. It was worse: she looked disappointed.
Bella wanted to say, Please, stop looking at me like that. I can’t bear it. You’re everything that is good, Fen. I can’t lose you. I need you. I know I get like this sometimes – but it’s because I’m scared you’re pulling away. And when I’m scared, I fight. She tried to open her mouth to communicate something of this, but all that sounded was a little humph of indignation.
Fen turned, crossing their room towards the en suite. There was the soft sound of the door closing behind her.
‘At least fucking slam it!’ Bella yelled.
Out of all the words, those were the ones she chose.
We were sharing a villa, sharing bedrooms, sharing beds: talking was our currency. But it was when the whispering began that things shifted.
We caught the hushed tones of arguments meant to be played out in private. We heard the raised voices behind closed doors and pretended that we hadn’t. And later, we’d hear other things: a soft cry rippling from an open window, a strike of blame lighting up the terrace, a secret excavated on a clifftop after midnight.